Ali, Frazier and Foreman – Boxing, Sausage and Chinstrap Legends – Sausage Request #4

Todays request comes from Sean Smithson the hilarious Office Inbetweener – which you can read here!

Sean asked for  an image of Ali v Frazier at a weigh-in relating to one of their Titanic clashes in the 70’s.  Sadly we couldn’t find a suitable one.

Instead we bring to your attention the lesser known fact that during the Thriller in Manila, Frazier to goad Ali strapped a freshly roasted chicken to his head. The bobbin’ carcass infuriated Ali to such an extent that the “Greatest” took revenge in Round 8 with a furious assault of punches that were it not for the chinstrap, would have seen the first orbit of the Earth by a roast chicken.

 

Upon seeing the demolition of Frazier and his poultry, George Foreman had second thoughts about a rematch of the Rumble in The Jungle. The fight which would have been known as the “Barbecue in Timbuktu” instead afforded Foreman the idea of his now famous Low Fat Grill. As Foreman said at the time “There was no way I was going to take a lickin, so decided instead to grill my chicken.”

 

The rest as they say is history.

IS THERE ANYBODY OR ANYTHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE ATTACHED TO A SAUSAGE?

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Chickens In Film – Martial Arts Special

Kung Fu Chicken

Crouching Tiger Hidden Chicken

This film is very long and features people running around a lot and being enigmatic. It went on and on and on and on and on and on. So on and on that Gfb fell asleep halfway through only to be shoved in the ribs by Madame Fightback to quell the old adenoids.

The film? It is about a hunchback Tiger looking for his best mate, a chicken that has gone missing during a game of hide and seek. He looks everywhere;  up on roofs, walls, behind doors and in wardrobes. Sadly he can’t find her so has a big swordfight with a few fellas instead. Then he jumps off a cliff.

The chicken turns up shouts, “Surprise! You couldn’t find me! I win!” only to discover her mate is dead. She jumps off the cliff. Being a chicken she cannot fly and pops her clogs too.

We were going to do Enter The Chicken but this is a family orientated site.

Here’s what the critics had to say,

“You’ll believe a chicken can do a kung fu chop!” The Delaware Doubter.

“Jet Lay is set for a brilliant career. A real feather in his cap this one!” The New York Times

“The most realistic depiction of chickens in a Martial Arts film I have ever seen!” The Houston Chronicle.

Sadly, the remake of the film provisionally entitled Kung Fu Chicken or KFC for short was never made.

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Chickens In Sport # 3

To cheer England rugby fans this weekend watching the Rugby World Cup final between France and New Zealand, gfb wants to take you back to Australia 2003 when a nation’s sporting hopes were finally realised.……

 

Jonny’s Fowl Drop

 

Jonny “Cauliflower” Wilkinson drop kicked England to Rugby World cup victory in 2003 to scotch the dastardly Aussie’s evil plan to win the game. The Antipodeans still cry fowl when they talk of the moment.

The Chicken Gets A Kickin'

To celebrate the team undertook upon their return home, formation vomiting off Tower Bridge. The projectile vomit impression of Van Gogh’s Sunflowers had to be seen to be believed!

That was a great Rugby team. “Cruncher” Johnson the captain (seen below lifting the Webb Ellis Chicken aloft in victory), “Tank” Thompson, “Egg Bound” Dallaglio, “Pounder” Lewsey, “Laicised” Dawson and “Hermaphrodite” Hill to name but a few.

Enormous knees to a man with halitosis of such virility it could strip bark from a weeping willow nestling beautifully by a babbling brook where no doubt donkeys freed from their harsh labours cavort happily.

It's Coming Home, It's Coming Home, It's Coming, Chicken's Coming Home

Across the country, young lads tingling with excitement would steal their mother’s roast chickens and merrily practice fowl dropping in parks, sports fields, back gardens and on train tracks until they had perfected their technique.

The craze swept the nation. Three teenagers lost their lives as a result and the nation’s roast chicken population was put under house arrest for its own protection.

Finally, the Government outlawed the activity through the 2003 Dangerous Flying Roast Chickens Act (Miscellaneous Provisions), driving the sport underground.

Dropping is now undertaken in disused factories and warehouses by men ill-suited to a law abiding lifestyle and pennies are gambled on a single chicken drop or “fowler” to give it its proper term.

Cage Fowl Dropping is the world’s fasted growing non-contact chicken martial art. Advocates hope it will be an Olympic event in London in 2012.

If you haven’t seen it, make sure you do.

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Chickens In Sport #2

Following the great interest shown in the recent article surrounding the boxing matches of the early 1970’s, between Ali, Foreman and Frazier, gfb’s research team has been hard at work investigating the rumours surrounding one of the greatest tennis matches of all time. This is what we found……

Borg v McEnroe 1980

The greatest Wimbledon final Bjorn Borg against John McEnroe. A titanic struggle of playing styles and personality.

Borg. The Ice Man. He had Ice running through his veins he was that icy. He was Swedish.

McEnroe, The brat. Obnoxious. He had Obnoxion running through his veins, he was that obnoxious. He was American.

They also clashed over the correct form of fowl to wear on their bonces whilst playing. Borg – old school – happy to play with a roast chicken nestling in his luxurious blond Swedish locks. McEnroe, ever the punk, played with an egg nestling precariously in his dandruff ridden, split end affected perm.

Both wore headbands. Was this significant? No.

YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!

Who would come first? The chicken or the egg? The chicken did.

An age old conunununununudrum resolved on a lawn in South West London in 1980.

As Borg recalled in his autobiography, Bally, Bally, Bouncey, Bouncey, Boing, Boing Boing.

“I hit the ball over the net one more time than he. And so I won. More meat balls anyone? ”

Says it all really.

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