Oh, but how do drunk people get home?
I wonder
But…
How do drunk people get home?
My careening well…
Scars and scurf
And a long whole ago
….that pill in the morning in the clinic
that pill…
Hmm…
But how do drunk people get home?
I met the man with the box of frogs and had occasion to ask him
Feeling that the rain would stay off a while
as I sheltered under his hanging umbrella
He was too busy to answer
Much too busy,
The boxing of frogs and the herding of cats
Taking up
Way way too much of his time!
But it’d come to a pretty pass
If the only weavers of dreams left to us
Were to be the joke of the bank
(Their jokes are cruel)
And the many sellers of smoke
They there
Still there
There in the glam of the threadbare glade.
Posts Tagged ‘Cats’
I Am Turning Into A Cat But Feline Fine – Help Me Oily George!
Posted in Beauty Tips, Funny, Humor, Humour, Satire, UK, tagged Animal Behaviour, Beauty Treatments, Black Humour, Britsol, Canada, Cats, England, Health Spas, Humor, Humour, India, Indonesia, Men, Pets, Relationahip Advice, Satire, Sex, siamese Cats, The Penis, UK, USA on June 6, 2014| 17 Comments »
Several weeks ago I went to a health spa and had the nose spore cleansing that uses Siamese cat spittle as the cleansing agent. My nose has never been so shiny!
However since then I am becoming increasingly feline in my daily activities. Nocturnal, urinating over furniture, munching on mice and not really giving a shit. I have also developed a taste for licking my bottom in front of the TV.
My man has put a bell around my neck.
Do you think I should ask for my money back?
Tiddles, Avondale
Oily Replies;
Tiddles
This problem screams to me of someone who ain’t getting any.
Not surprising if you have allowed your pink canoe to go unused. My lady loveboy is always kept well manicured. In fact I insist on helping in this task myself using my own personal bag of tricks to aid him. I will send you one of these Lovebags on receipt of £ 39.99 plus p&p and a DVD of you and your girlfriend at the masseurs all hot and lithesome and……
Ahem oops..sorry I got sidetracked. Slightly. God is it hot and clammy in here or is it just me?
Anyway poppet the important thing is that once that lawn has been mowed and your punanny pavement has been pounded, the world will seem a much better place.
Have a saucer of milk to get you in the mood…..
Oily
Here Is Theat Happy Goose Again And Another Old Favourite To Tickle Your Fancy
Posted in Animals, Art, Humor, tagged Art, Birds, Blogs, Cats, Funny, Humor, Humour, Images, Spain, UK on October 19, 2013| 13 Comments »
Hello,
Rain is on the way, Tomcat Fightback has fallen asleep in a saucepan and my feet are cold.
So here is that Happy Goose again!
And here is the brilliant Spanish Fresco restoration from last year!
Hope they tickle your fancy as much as mine!
A Porn King’s Beauty Tips – Oily George
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Britain, Cats, Comedy, Funny, Humor, Humour, Pets, Porn, Sex, Spa Treatments on December 4, 2012| 8 Comments »
Feline a bit Catty?
Hello Oily,
Several weeks ago I went to a health spa. I had a lovely time and a right good pampering. I really enjoyed the sauna and steam rooms and also the special nose spore cleansing that used Siamese cat spittle as the cleansing agent. My nose has never been so shiny!
However, recently I have noticed that I am becoming increasingly feline in my daily activities. Sleeping a lot, urinating over furniture, scrabbling around after mice under the bed and running after imaginary foes. Oh, and I have developed a taste for licking my back passage in public.
My man has put a bell around my neck as well in case I get lost up the tree.
Do you think I should ask for my money back?
Tiddles, Avondale
Oily Replies;
Tiddles
This whole problem screams to me of someone who ain’t getting any.
Not surprising if you have allowed your pink canoe to go unused. My lady loveboy is always kept well manicured. In fact I insist on helping in this task myself using my own personal bag of tricks to aid him. I will send you one of these Lovebags on receipt of £ 39.99 plus p&p and a DVD of you and your girlfriend at the masseurs all hot and lithesome and……
Ahem oops..sorry I got sidetracked. Slightly. God is it hot and clammy in here or is it just me?
Anyway poppet the important thing is that once that lawn has been mowed and your punanny pavement has been pounded, the world will seem a much better place.
Oily