Arts Scene – With Terry Cotter The Potter

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Last Supper –  Da Vinci’s masterpiece. The last supper I had was a cheese sandwich and a slice of pork pie. Very tasty it was although the pork pie repeated on me for a while and the cheese gave me nightmares.

2. Movies

Exodus – Batman takes the Jews on a long walk. Goes on a bit.

3. Literature

Little Women – Louisa May Alcott’s book about midget females. Lacks lesbian love lust. Goes on a bit.

4. Musicals

My Fair Lady – From “Cor Blimey Guv’nor!” to “High Nigh Brine Cow” in 3 hours! Lovely frocks too! 

Village News 

5. Zumba Club

Tomorrow’s Zumba Club will now take place in the Frozen Foods aisle in Spar and not as previously advertised in the World Foods aisle. Someone dropped a bottle of Soya Sauce and Sally won’t get round to clearing it up until tomorrow.

TCTP

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Arts Scene – With Terry Cotter The Potter

 

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Here are reviews the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

Sunflowers – VanGogh’s masterpiece – Some flowers in a vase. Don’t like vases. I Prefer Urns. More hygenic. Vince cut his ear off. That must have smarted.

2. Movies

Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid – A western set in the west.  Gary Numan is in it. Goes on a bit. Has that song about raindrops on his bonce.

3. Music

Chopin’s Polonaise in A flat major – There’s a bit that goes plinky,plinky, plinky plonk, plonk. After that it goes down hill.

4. Literature

Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky – A Russian bloke commits a crime and is punished for it. Goes on a bit.
Village News

The mime festival will take place by the counter in the Post Office next Wednesday. Thanks to Jeff Smegly for the face paint.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Arts Scene With Terry Cotter The Potter

 

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Scream – I like this Munch painting a lot. It shows someone screaming. I reckon they have got toothache. Probably need a spot of root canal.

2. Movies

Lawrence of Arabia – Has Camels in it so bound to be brilliant. Rihanna is wonderful in it and Eminem’s theme tune should win the Oscar. Goes on a bit though.

3. Origami

Take a sheet of paper. Fold it four times. Voila! A Swan!

4. Poetry

Wordsworth – I like him. Handy name for a poet too. Doesn’t rhyme though. I like it when they rhyme. He goes on a bit.

5. Literature

Charles Dickens – Oliver Twist – Poor little lad has a tough time then everything is OK! Goes on a bit.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Arts Scene – With Terry Cotter The Potter

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

We have a Sale on at the moment.

Here are reviews of some of my favourite bits of “Art”.

1. Painting

Autumn Rhythm – One of Jackson Pollock’s most famous. I don’t have a clue either.

2. Movies

Dances With Wolves – Don’t Dance With Wolves. They will eat you. Great car chase and the underwater fight scenes are wonderful. Who will ever forget Whitney Houston’s theme tune? Goes on a bit.

3. Music

Beyonce – I Am Sasha Fierce  – I love Beyonce. She screeches and warbles better than anyone I know – Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

The Times Atlas Of The World – Got this for Christmas! Maps spelt backwards is Spam. Now there’s a thought. Goes on a bit.

Village News

The Postman

Whoever stole his rubber band ball (10 years in the making) could they please return it. He was only four short of the world rubber band collection set by Magnus Fleischer, inventor of the buttoneer, in Hamburg in the 1960’s.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Arts Scene With Terry Cotter The Potter

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Play

Romeo and Juliet – He loveth her, she loveth him. The families don’t get oneth. They both dieth.

“Romeo, Romeo wherefore art thou?”

“Over here.”

Goes on a biteth.

2. Movies

Gladiator – Antipodean Roman General becomes a slave, cleaves a lot, discovers hair gel, chest shaving and eyeliner before “Echoing In Eternity” (whatever that means) – Goes on a bittus.

3. Televsion

Downton Abbey – I prefer Oily George’s adult version, Down On Abbey. Now has fewer ratings than HMS Victory. God awful dross. goes on forever.

4. Literature

The Naked Lunch – William Burroughs classic slice of Smack Lit. I ate my lunch naked once. Bowl of soup and a crusty roll. Crumbs everywhere. Soup was nice though.

Village News

The William Shatner look-a-like competition was won by Anthea who works on the frozen foods in Spar. Big fan of Shatner during the TJ Hooker years apparently.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Arts Review With Terry Cotter the Potter

Our arts correspondent Terry Cotter The Potter and his unique insight into the world they call “Art”.

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

1. Painting

The Creation Of Adam – Michelangelo stuck this on the roof of the Sistine Chapel. I  got a crick in my neck looking at it. Why didn’t he paint it on the wall?

2. Movies

The Exorcist – Devil visits a girl, she vomits pea soup, is potty mouthed and finds a new way to use a crucifix. Max Von Sydow sorts it out. Goes on a bit (I think – had me eyes closed most of the time. Slept with the light on that night!) – by the way Devil spelt backwards is lived.

3. Music

Back In Black – AC/DC – Titchy Australian dresses up as schoolboy and a dwarf Geordie in a cap perform songs about their giant penises and the pleasure their todgers bring to women whilst they down fifteen bottles of whiskey a night. Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

War And Peace – Tolstoy – There’s a bit of war then a bit of peace. Then a bit more war and then a bit more peace. Goes on and on and on and on and on for a bit.

Village News

The vicar’s wife has darned the net and so the annual table tennis tournament will take place this weekend in Budgen’s frozen food section. First prize will be a packet of Quorn Sausages.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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1 Year Of Arts Scene With Terry Cotter the Potter – Anniversary Special!

It has been a year now that our arts correspondent Terry Cotter The Potter has been giving us his unique insight into the world they call “Art”. To celebrate this (and the fact that it is time for a break) we will publish some of his reviews for your delectation and delight. Remember this one?

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

For Valentine’s Day, I’ve made some Ceramic Clogs. One size fits all. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Not sure now.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Persistence Of Memory – Salvador Dali’s most famous piece. It Droops. Nope, not a clue. Sorry.

2. Movies

Love Story – Da de dah de dah – then she gets sick and croaks. Goes on a bit.

3. Musical

Les Miserables – Don’t know why they didn’t crack a few jokes or do animal impressions to cheer themselves up a bit.  Rabbit impressions always make me titter. That’s the French for you.  Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte’s classic. She loves him. He loves her. Watch out for the pyromaniac first wife! Goes on a bit.

Village News

Next Week’s lecture by Peter Stench on The History Of The Drain has been cancelled by Mrs Griggs. If you are not happy you can sewer.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Pointless GingerWig Adaptations #23 – Hamlet

“Alas Poor Ginger…….”

That reminds me, I must nip to the dentist’s

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Pogues Legend Shane McGowan Joins Riverdance!

Gingerfightback can reveal that legendary songsmith, drinker and toothless marvel Shane McGowan has joined the world famous Oirish Dance Show.

The show now known as Liverdance, will be an homage to the fabled Irishman’s drinking exploits and ability to muster even a syllable after three days on the creme de menthe.

His friend Paddy Magillicuddy-Reeks told Gfb, “Begorrah, shillelagh, bacon and cabbage, Guinness, famine, English Bastards! Top o’ the morn to ye all, Daniel O’Donnell, leprechauns up me crack!  – it’ll be grand so it will. Shaney’s in top form – his fleckel is a sight for sore eyes and he recently did the splits after a three year bender in Tip. Didn’t spill a drop neither. Legend.”

Queen Liz of England is a great fan of McGowan’s songs about the Irish diaspora and has donned traditional Oirish Garb to make sure she can get a ticket for the show.

Ginny Bunty In-Bred, keeper of the Queen’s knuckles told Gfb, “Liz is highly excited about the news. She has a real empathy for the Micks and promises to be ruling you all again in a few years time. Whoops I shouldn’t have said that last bit. Invasion plans were meant to be secret. Can we not mention that. There’s a knighthood in it for you, Pleb looking chap if you keep schtum.”

“Top Of One’s Morning To One”

Well here’s a couple of examples of Shanes’s handiwork.

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Arts Scene – With Terry Cotter The Potter

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

I’ve been making little pottery versions of famous boy bands. Bands such as, Those Lads Who Can’t Sing But Wear Their Jeans Below Their Arses, That One With That Lad With A Limp In and The One With Those Lads With Ridiculous Facial Hair.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Nightwatch –  One of Rembrandt’s best. Difficult to watch things at night. It is dark. I like this painting though. At night look at it with the light on though. Otherwise you won’t see much.

2. Movies

Live and Let Die – Roger Moore’s eyebrow is very good. Any film that has Voodoo and men wearing shirts sporting epaulettes is alright by me. Goes on a bit.

3. Music

Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here – “We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl year after year” – doesn’t matter – fish have very bad memories so they won’t be  lost for long. Fish are thick.  Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

James Ellroy – American Tabloid – Drug smuggling transvestite J. Edgar Hoover shoots JFK and blames a black bloke.  Goes on a bit though.

5. Bridge Night

Tomorrow’s Bridge Night has been cancelled as the Bridge has not been delivered yet due to the floods. Keep an eye on the noticeboard outside the Butcher’s for further news.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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