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Posts Tagged ‘Arts Reviews’

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel. Some Art reviews….

1. Painting

The Lady of Shalott – Waterhouse’s Pre-Raphaelite painting of a woman in a canoe without a paddle.  She can’t have got very far! In fact she was probably up Sh*t creek. Wonder what happened to the Post-Raphaelites?

2. Movies

Braveheart  – Mel Gibson daubed in woad dons a dress and says, “Wee Jock McTavish, Och Aye The Noo, Bagpipes, Shortbread, Haggis, Cobber” and other terms of Jockery – shouts “FREEEEDUUUUM!” then has his innards removed by a bloke in a cap – Goes on a wee bit.

3. Music

Led Zeppelin 2 – Hobbit Lovin’ Cock Rockers Love Muscle Removal Van? Sounds good to me – lots of songs about having their lemons being squeezed – must have been Pancake day when they recorded it – Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

War Horse – Michael Morpurgo’s moving novel about a horse that goes to war. Goes on a bit.

5.Pottery

Protogeometric Style of Ancient Greece

My favourite period of Greek Pottery – it represents the return of craft production after the collapse of the Mycenaean Palace culture and is one of the few modes of artistic expression of this era known to us. By 1050 BC life in the Greek peninsula became sufficiently settled to allow a marked improvement in the production of earthenware. The style is confined to the rendering of circles, triangles, wavy lines and arcs, but placed with evident consideration and notable dexterity, probably aided by compass’ and multiple brush.
I’m going on a bit aren’t I…..and yes, I looked this up on Wikipedia.

Village News

The Village shop’s the new frozen foods section will be opened by Brad and Angelina on Saturday. Angelina has had, “Your daily shopping needs at your local Spar” tattooed on her left shoulder.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Here are reviews the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

Sunflowers – VanGogh’s masterpiece – Some flowers in a vase. Don’t like vases. I Prefer Urns. More hygenic. Vince cut his ear off. That must have smarted.

2. Movies

Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid – A western set in the west.  Gary Numan is in it. Goes on a bit. Has that song about raindrops on his bonce.

3. Music

Chopin’s Polonaise in A flat major – There’s a bit that goes plinky,plinky, plinky plonk, plonk. After that it goes down hill.

4. Literature

Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky – A Russian bloke commits a crime and is punished for it. Goes on a bit.
Village News

The mime festival will take place by the counter in the Post Office next Wednesday. Thanks to Jeff Smegly for the face paint.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Hello Folks

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a Potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop down here in Lower Swell.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Art  

The Triumph of Death – Brueghal’s masterpiece – Boy oh Boy are those skeletons miffed!

2. Movies

Noah – Gladiator builds an Ark and it rains a lot – goes on for 40 days and 40 nights.

russell 3 copy

A Plague Of Sausages Doth Descend

3. Music

Lana Del Ray – Ultraviolence – One of the songs goes  “la la la de de de de la la la” –  another goes – “de dum de dum de dum de dum ooh!” – another goes “Tum ti tum tum tum” – goes on a bit.

4. Literature

Murder on the Orient Express – Agatha Christie’s famous whodunit – Poirot on the train to Syria (Was he Jihadist?) has to solve an onboard murder – what do you think? Of course he does! Goes on a bit (with the lead pipe in the buffet).

Village News

Good News! The Village notice board has been painted!

Until next time……keep those wheels a spinning!

TCTP

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Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

I’m currently compiling an album of pottery songs,” Now That’s What I Call Pottery Music”. So far I have Kiln Me Softly  With Your Love,  Love Like Blood by Kiln Joke, Wheel Meet Again by Dame Vera Lynn and a couple of Richard Clayderman tracks.

If you have any ideas for songs please let me know. They have to be connected to pottery though because the album is about pottery. Otherwise they wouldn’t fit.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

Water Lilies – Classic impressionismismism. Always sing, “Well it’s One for the Monet, Two For The Show…..” when I think of this painting. Elvis was a good painter, dab hand at varnishing apparently.

2. Movies

Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Wolf? – I was! Goes on a bit.

3. Music

Pet Sounds – The Beach Boys – “Woof, Miaow, Chirp, Oink,Squeak”- these are pet sounds too. I would include tortoises and goldfish but they are quiet on the whole. Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

Finnegan’s Wake – James Joyce – Ihaven’tgotafrigginclueliketherestofyouwhatjimmyisonabout diddlyfeckindee! Goes on a bitabitabitabitabitabit………………

Village News

There will be a party in the village hall on Wednesday to celebrate the first anniversary of our sleeping policeman. I won’t be going because it gives me the hump.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

I’m currently firing a ceramic sieve and colander as wedding gifts for my nephew, Terrence who is getting married next week. She ‘s a lovely girl is his fiancée, Marian. Half French. Which is a shame.  I wish them all the best for the future and hope they like the gifts. They have been a strain to make. Just my little joke there!

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

Mona Lisa – Went out with a girl called Lisa once. She moaned a lot too.

2. Movies

Gone With The Wind – Haven’t we all at some point on our lives? Goes on a bit.

3. Music

Pink Floyd – Dark Side Of The Moon – Seminal rock album that has songs on it, where people sing and play instruments and stuff. A lot. Oh, and a woman gargles and it is meant to sound like an orgasm. But it doesn’t. Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

Oliver Twist – The Dickens classic – Young lad has a hard time. Then he doesn’t! Goes on a bit.

Village News

The new Chinese takeaway on the High Street, “Chairman Chow’s” opens on Wednesday.  10% of all orders before 6 pm.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

For Easter, I’ve made some Ceramic Rabbits. Sadly the firing process has given them the appearance of suffering from myxomatosis. They scare the bejesus out of kids. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Not sure now.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

Le Moulin de la Galette a Montmartre – One of Renoir’s best – lots of people in it and a chair is clearly visible too.

2. Movies

The Sound Of Music – Nun looks after kids and warbles a lot. Lacks a car chase and lesbian shower scene in my opinion. Goes on a bit.

3. Music

Yes – Topographic Oceans – Duller than the National Dullards Association, Dullard Of The Year Award. Goes on more than a bit.

4. Literature

Wuthering Heights – The Bronte classic – She loves him. He loves her. She marries someone else. He leaves. He has a shave and comes back with a few bob in his pocket. Kate Bush warbles about him a lot. Goes on a bit.

Village News

The Easter Bonnet prize went to Mr Ellington’s BMW. Lovely bit of buffing. The car is parked on his drive for everyone to nip round and have a butchers. Please don’t touch as you will smudge the finish.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

For Valentine’s Day, I’ve made some Ceramic Clogs. One size fits all. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Not sure now.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Persistence Of Memory – Salvador Dali’s most famous piece. It Droops. Nope, not a clue. Sorry.

2. Movies

Love Story – Da de dah de dah – then she gets sick and croaks. Goes on a bit.

3. Musical

Les Miserables – Don’t know why they didn’t crack a few jokes or do animal impressions to cheer themselves up a bit.  Rabbit impressions always make me titter. That’s the French for you.  Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte’s classic. She loves him. He loves her. Watch out for the pyromaniac first wife! Goes on a bit.

Village News

Next Week’s lecture by Peter Stench on The History Of The Drain has been cancelled by Mrs Griggs. If you are not happy you can sewer.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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