Posts Tagged ‘Artists’

Avec un Sausage et un Scotch Egg……

Magritte sausage

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The great man enjoying a drag on his breadcrumbed fish fag!

No wonder all his faces were a bit wonky.

By The End He Was On 20 A Day

During His Fish Period

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Hello! Gfb is grabbing some me time for the next week or so. Hooray! we hear you cry – sadly we don’t disappear that easily – here are some posts which proved popular. Hope you like them second time around.

Graffiti King To Get Youth Doing Something Useful!


Gfb understands the Coalition Government are ready to name respected graffiti artist Banksy as its new back-to-work Tsar.

The Government move to appoint Banksy is certain to cause more controversy in what is seen as a pivotal role in the battle against worklessness.

Ian Duncan-Spliff, Minister for Work and Pensions and a long-term fan of Street Art, sees Banksy’s appointment as an important way of restoring The Conservative Party’s credibility amongst people they call, young. “Respeck Due Ma Man!” Duncan Spliff is rumoured to have said to Banksy at their first meeting.

IDS – The Rasta Pastor

IDS - No Woman No Cry

There are over 1 million unemployed young people or ‘NUUTS’ – Nonchalant, Unenergetic, Uneducated and Twatted.

A Government source revealed, “Spliff thinks he’s onto a real winner here. Stencils are the way forward as far as the Government are concerned. Getting Banksy on board is the Tory equivalent of Noel Gallagher partying at Number 10 with Blair!”

Banksy himself is said to have major plans for getting intergenerational workless families back into employment, including the creation of ‘job bastards’ who will stencil the phrase ‘get back to work for fuck’s sake’ on the front door of long term Jobseekers Allowance claimants every Monday morning until they are in sustainable employment.

Banksy’s Earliest Brush With Fame

Banksy has come under criticism after winning several contracts to supply Government offices with stencilled murals. The Ministry of Defence have commissioned a Banksy mural of a monkey holding a Sex Toy with the words ‘HAVE IT’ emblazoned underneath.. ‘Yes, it’s a controversial piece of art, but it’s great for morale,’ said one high wanking MOD source.

David Cameron is thrilled at Banksy’s appointment. A source told Gfb, “The PM thinks Banksy’s the man. Anyone that can sell a picture of a kid holding a Tesco’s carrier bag for more than a million quid is doing alright in his opinion.”

PM Cameron is delighted

In a statement, Banksy stencilled a picture of a sausage roll on a doorway in Brixton adorned with the phrase “Sausages have feelings too.’

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We’ve brought you painting, now marvel at sculpture. In stone. By a bloke with a hammer and chisel. Hammering and chiselling for hours on end.

Here is The Thinker in its original format before degingerificationismology took hold and stripped the brooding presence of its wonderful golden syrup.

As our Arts correspondent Brian Sewer said upon seeing the piece, “It certainly made me think. Mostly about my next dwinky, but it made me think nonetheless. Bar Keep!”

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We have employed Brian Sewer, plummy mouthed onanist, to investigate how Ginger art was often retouched, in what was known as the degingerficationanismist, of some of the world’s greatest pieces of what we call “ART”.

This week Brian has unearthed a new version of The Scream by Munch (pronounced Munk, not Munch as in chomping on a cheese sandwich).

As Brian comments, “The Scream is the cream of the crop when it comes to paintings of people holding their heads. Make mine a double please bar keep!”

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