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Posts Tagged ‘Art’

The Ginger Warhol

Ginger Is A State Of Mind

Ginger Is A State Of Mind

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Hello,

Rain is on the way, Tomcat Fightback has fallen asleep in a saucepan and my feet are cold.

So here is that Happy Goose again!

Goose

And here is the brilliant Spanish Fresco restoration from last year!

fresco_rescue

Hope they tickle your fancy as much as mine!

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Our arts correspondent Terry Cotter The Potter and his unique insight into the world they call “Art”.

Terry recently took up underwater pottery.  Tricky but rewarding.

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

1. Painting

The Lady of Shalott – Waterhouse’s peerless Pre-Raphaelite painting of a woman in a canoe without a paddle.  She can’t have got very far! In fact she was probably up Sh*t creek. Wonder what happened to the Post-Raphaelites?

2. Movies

Braveheart  – Mel Gibson daubed in woad dons a dress and says, “Wee Jock McTavish, Och Aye The Noo, Bagpipes, Shortbread, Haggis, Cobber” and other terms of Jockery – shouts “FREEEEDUUUUM!” then has his innards removed by a bloke in a cap – Goes on a wee bit.

3. Music

Led Zeppelin 2 – Too lazy to think of an album name why not, Hobbit Lovin’ Cock Rockers Love Muscle Removal Van? Sounds good to me – lots of songs about having their lemons being squeezed – must have been Pancake day when they recorded it – Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

Philip Roth – American Pastoral – This fella’s daughter goes a bit wonky and blows some people up. He goes a bit wonky as a result, gets cancer but doesn’t blow anybody up. Which is a relief. Goes on a bit.

5.Pottery

Protogeometric Style of Ancient Greece

My favourite period of Greek Pottery – it represents the return of craft production after the collapse of the Mycenaean Palace culture. Indeed, it is one of the few modes of artistic expression besides jewelry in this period since the sculpture, monumental architecture and mural painting of this era are unknown to us. Yet by 1050 BC life in the Greek peninsula seems to have become sufficiently settled to allow a marked improvement in the production of earthenware. The style is confined to the rendering of circles, triangles, wavy lines and arcs, but placed with evident consideration and notable dexterity, probably aided by compass’ and multiple brush.
I’m going on a bit aren’t I…..and yes, I looked this up on Wikipedia.

Village News

The village shop’s the new frozen foods section will be opened by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie on Saturday. Angelina is so honoured she’s had, “Get all you daily shopping needs down at your local Spar” tattooed on her left shoulder.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Hello! Gfb is grabbing some me time for the next week or so. Hooray! we hear you cry – sadly we don’t disappear that easily – here are some posts which proved popular. Hope you like them second time around.

Graffiti King To Get Youth Doing Something Useful!

photo

Gfb understands the Coalition Government are ready to name respected graffiti artist Banksy as its new back-to-work Tsar.

The Government move to appoint Banksy is certain to cause more controversy in what is seen as a pivotal role in the battle against worklessness.

Ian Duncan-Spliff, Minister for Work and Pensions and a long-term fan of Street Art, sees Banksy’s appointment as an important way of restoring The Conservative Party’s credibility amongst people they call, young. “Respeck Due Ma Man!” Duncan Spliff is rumoured to have said to Banksy at their first meeting.

IDS – The Rasta Pastor

IDS - No Woman No Cry

There are over 1 million unemployed young people or ‘NUUTS’ – Nonchalant, Unenergetic, Uneducated and Twatted.

A Government source revealed, “Spliff thinks he’s onto a real winner here. Stencils are the way forward as far as the Government are concerned. Getting Banksy on board is the Tory equivalent of Noel Gallagher partying at Number 10 with Blair!”

Banksy himself is said to have major plans for getting intergenerational workless families back into employment, including the creation of ‘job bastards’ who will stencil the phrase ‘get back to work for fuck’s sake’ on the front door of long term Jobseekers Allowance claimants every Monday morning until they are in sustainable employment.

Banksy’s Earliest Brush With Fame

Banksy has come under criticism after winning several contracts to supply Government offices with stencilled murals. The Ministry of Defence have commissioned a Banksy mural of a monkey holding a Sex Toy with the words ‘HAVE IT’ emblazoned underneath.. ‘Yes, it’s a controversial piece of art, but it’s great for morale,’ said one high wanking MOD source.

David Cameron is thrilled at Banksy’s appointment. A source told Gfb, “The PM thinks Banksy’s the man. Anyone that can sell a picture of a kid holding a Tesco’s carrier bag for more than a million quid is doing alright in his opinion.”

PM Cameron is delighted

In a statement, Banksy stencilled a picture of a sausage roll on a doorway in Brixton adorned with the phrase “Sausages have feelings too.’

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 Hello! Gfb is grabbing some me time for the next week or so. Hooray! we hear you cry – sadly we don’t disappear that easily – here are some posts which proved popular. Hope you like them second time around.

#3 Fresco Rescue

Hello Folks!
You may have heard today about the elderly parishioner in Spain who attempted to restore a prized Jesus Christ fresco.

Ecce Homo (Behold the Man) by Elias Garcia Martinez has held pride of place in the Sanctuary of Mercy Church near Zaragoza for more than 100 years.

Cecilia Giminez took her brush to it and did what can only be described as a not particularly good job!

An official declared, “The once-dignified portrait now resembles a crayon sketch of a very hairy monkey in an ill-fitting tunic.”

Oh Dear! What’s To Be Done?

Step Forward Gfb’s arts expert Brian Sewer and his mates from The Struggling Monkey free house, Al Fresco and Al Dente.

We whisked them out to Zaragoza to carry out urgent repairs to the work and the results are spectacular!

Good As New!

“We don’t want paying, we are just glad to help,” muttered Al Fresco, “What’s yer poison?”

Does the Original remind you of anyone? That’s Right – The Princess Bride Herself – Our Kate!

Santa Maria! Could It Be True?
 

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It has been a year now that our arts correspondent Terry Cotter The Potter has been giving us his unique insight into the world they call “Art”. To celebrate this (and the fact that it is time for a break) we will publish some of his reviews for your delectation and delight. Remember this one?

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

We have a Sale on at the moment. All plates are £5 each, mugs are £2.50 each and the hand finished ceramic bananas, which didn’t fly of the shelves are reduced to £547 each. Value For Money. Only another 6,567 to shift. So come on down.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

Autumn Rhythm – One of Jackson Pollock’s most famous. I don’t have a clue either.

2. Movies

Dances With Wolves – Don’t Dance With Wolves. They will eat you. Great car chase and the underwater fight scenes are wonderful. Who will ever forget Whitney Houston’s theme tune? Goes on a bit.

3. Music

Michael Buble- Christmas – I love Micheal Bubble – Ba Ba Boo Boo so to speak – I just haven’t met him yet – needs to wash his hair first though – it is greasy in my opinion. Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

The Times Atlas Of The World – Got this for Christmas! Maps spelt backwards is Spam. Now there’s a thought. Goes on a bit.

Village News

The Postman

Whoever stole his rubber band ball (10 years in the making) could they please return it. He was only four short of the world rubber band collection set by an itinerant Sioux postal worker stalker in the Oklahoma in the 1960’s.

Request Review – The Thought Fox by Ted Hughes

This was requested by the marvellous Hollyannegetspoetic (http://hollyannegetspoetic.wordpress.com/).

Ted Hughes was a poet (I once went out with a girl called Ted Hughes). He had a famous girlfriend (Anne Frank I think her name was) and he wrote a lot of poems. They didn’t rhyme so he can’t have been very good.

This one is about a Fox thinking about writing a poem. Clever Fox I say. Bit hard for a Fox to hold a pen though. And it doesn’t rhyme. So not such a clever Fox. Goes on a bit too.

My wife said it was an Allegory. Shame he lost to George Bush.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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It has been a year now that our arts correspondent Terry Cotter The Potter has been giving us his unique insight into the world they call “Art”. To celebrate this (and the fact that it is time for a break) we will publish some of his reviews for your delectation and delight. Remember this one?

Hello Folks,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

Since my last Column I’ve had some good news. Upper Swell’s potter, Jay Clay, “The Funkfather Of The Throw” has had to close down due to the recession.

He used to make ashtrays with health warnings inscribed in them. Things like “Don’t hit anyone on the head with this ashtray” or “Stub out the Marlboro Light and go for a run you emphysemic bastard”.

Still he hope to make a go of things with his funk band “Earth n Ware n Fire”.

So, without further ado here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Scream – I like this painting a lot. It shows someone screaming. I reckon they have got toothache. Probably need a spot of root canal.

2. Movies

Lawrence of Arabia – Has Camels in it so bound to be brilliant. Goes on a bit though.

3. Origami

Take a sheet of paper. Fold it four times. Voila! A Swan!

4. Poetry

Wordsworth – I like him. Handy name for a poet too. Pity his odes don’t rhyme though. I like it when they rhyme.

5. Literature

Charles Dickens – Oliver Twist – Chubby Checker read it and the rest is pop history. Goes on a bit though.

Do you have any views on these pieces? If so drop me a line!

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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It has been a year now that our arts guru Terry Cotter The Potter has been giving us his unique insight into the world they call “Art”. To celebrate this (and the fact that it is time for a break) we will publish some of his reviews for your delectation and delight. Remember this one?

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel.

I’ve made some plates for my local pub The Misgoynist and Duck as they have expanded their food sales. I call them surf n turf n earthenware.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Painting

The Guernica –  Picasso’s most famous. I gurn a lot too. Especially if I eat pickled food.

2. Movies

Gone With The Wind –  Set in AmericaHe doesn’t give a damn in the end. Nice staircase though. Goes on a bit.

3. Music

The Sex Pistols – Never Mind The Bollocks – I love a bit of folk rock, this is what Emerson Lake and Palmer would have sounded like if they hadn’t split up.  Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

Yann Martell – Life of Pi – Pies don’t last long in my house! There’s a tiger in it. The book not the pie. Goes on a bit though.

Village News

The Local Cult’s Proposed Mass Suicide

Elsie has a sprained ankle and this event has been postponed. Keep an eye out in the Post Office window for a new date.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Somebody asked to see Ginger Thinker  again – happy to oblige!

thinker

Somebody asked to see the Pope with a pork pie on his head image again – happy to oblige!

Pope Pius 23rd
Pope Pius 23rd

Somebody asked to see the ginger Sphinx image again – happy to oblige!

Wonder what it makes of it all?

Somebody asked to see the ginger Al Jolson image again – as always happy to oblige!

jolson

Somebody asked to see the cute Polar Bear image again – as always happy to oblige!

polarbear

Somebody asked to see the Shane McGowan dancing in Riverdance image again – as always happy to oblige!

Somebody asked to see the Saturday Night Fever Disco Chicken again – as always happy to oblige!

Somebody asked to see Ali with a chicken on his head again – as always happy to oblige!

He Was Forty Years Ahead Of His Time

Somebody has asked to see Nelson Mandela with a walnut whip on his head again – as always happy to oblige!

Lovely

has asked to see the David Niven With A Wagon Wheel On His Head Image again – as always happy to oblige!

A Sad End To A Great Career

Last week somebody asked to see Picasso smoking his fishfingers……What a strange world we live in.

By The End He Was On 20 A Day
During His Fish Period

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Hello

To celebrate world chinstrap week, Gingerfightback brings to you some of the great and good down the years who have proudly borne one. As that famous old philosopher Descartes said, “I chinstrap therefore I am.”

Enjoy

Here is Pope “The Falklands Are British Mate” Argy;

pope_chin

And here is Steve McQueen!

McQueen – The Great Escape – The Chinstrap

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