Arts World – Terry Cotter The Potter

Hello,

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a potter.

I have been potterising for over 20 years and stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop The Potter’s Reel, down here in Lower Swell. The shop is named after my potter’s wheel which goes round and round. Like a reel. Some Art reviews….

1. Painting

The Lady of Shalott – Waterhouse’s Pre-Raphaelite painting of a woman in a canoe without a paddle.  She can’t have got very far! In fact she was probably up Sh*t creek. Wonder what happened to the Post-Raphaelites?

2. Movies

Braveheart  – Mel Gibson daubed in woad dons a dress and says, “Wee Jock McTavish, Och Aye The Noo, Bagpipes, Shortbread, Haggis, Cobber” and other terms of Jockery – shouts “FREEEEDUUUUM!” then has his innards removed by a bloke in a cap – Goes on a wee bit.

3. Music

Led Zeppelin 2 – Hobbit Lovin’ Cock Rockers Love Muscle Removal Van? Sounds good to me – lots of songs about having their lemons being squeezed – must have been Pancake day when they recorded it – Goes on a bit.

4. Literature

War Horse – Michael Morpurgo’s moving novel about a horse that goes to war. Goes on a bit.

5.Pottery

Protogeometric Style of Ancient Greece

My favourite period of Greek Pottery – it represents the return of craft production after the collapse of the Mycenaean Palace culture and is one of the few modes of artistic expression of this era known to us. By 1050 BC life in the Greek peninsula became sufficiently settled to allow a marked improvement in the production of earthenware. The style is confined to the rendering of circles, triangles, wavy lines and arcs, but placed with evident consideration and notable dexterity, probably aided by compass’ and multiple brush.

I’m going on a bit aren’t I…..and yes, I looked this up on Wikipedia.

Village News

The Village shop’s the new frozen foods section will be opened by Brad and Angelina on Saturday. Angelina has had, “Your daily shopping needs at your local Spar” tattooed on her left shoulder.

‘Til next time – The Wheel Keeps On Turning!

TCTP

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Adam & God & Sausage @ The Dawn Of Time

Michelangelo rubbed the sausage out after giving it some thought…………

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The Ginger Thinker – Penny For Them Mate!

Ponder away me laddio…………

 

 

 

 

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Jackson Pollock – His Painting Style Revealed!

Jackson Pollock.

A name synonononononomous with Modern Art.

At last GFB can answer the conununununudrum that art lovers have been asking, “How did he do it?”

With A Sausage!

As the picture below reveals, Jacko (to his mates) daubed, dabbed and splatted his way to artistic glory using the humble banger.

Jackson and his sausage working on Number 11

In the upcoming book, “The Art of Sausage – Meat and Mayhem,” author Lester Mould reveals that Jackson experimented with Frankfurters, Bratwursts and Chorizo before settling on the good old Irish Banger for his applications.

“Jackson discovered the Irish Banger had a greater flicking distance, dribbling capacity and splatter power than more porous American sausages of the time. Just imagine if he hadn’t developed the Sausage techniques he may have continued in his quest to find the perfect way to apply paint using cauliflowers.  Lucky for us he did!”

Cauliflower Art never really took off. Sadly.

 

 

 

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Magritte – Magnifique!

Avec un Sausage et un Scotch Egg……

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American Gothic – Gingered!

A modern classic – Old slaphead needed a syrup and a sausage.

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Arts Scene – With Terry Cotter The Potter

Hello Folks

My name is Terry Cotter. I’m a Potter.

I have been potterising for nearly two decades now. I stock a wide range of ceramic goods in my shop down here in Lower Swell.

Here are some reviews of some of my favourite bits from the world they call “Art”.

1. Art  

The Triumph of Death – Brueghal’s masterpiece – Boy oh Boy are those skeletons miffed!

2. Movies

Noah – Gladiator builds an Ark and it rains a lot – goes on for 40 days and 40 nights.

A Plague Of Sausages Doth Descend

3. Music

Lana Del Ray – Ultraviolence – One of the songs goes  “la la la de de de de la la la” –  another goes – “de dum de dum de dum de dum ooh!” – another goes “Tum ti tum tum tum” – goes on a bit.

4. Literature

Murder on the Orient Express – Agatha Christie’s famous whodunit – Poirot on the train to Syria (Was he Jihadist?) has to solve an onboard murder – what do you think? Of course he does! Goes on a bit (with the lead pipe in the buffet).

Village News

Good News! The Village notice board has been painted!

Until next time……keep those wheels a spinning!

TCTP

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Picasso “Smoking A Fishfinger (Again)”

The great man enjoying a drag on his breadcrumbed fish fag!

No wonder all his faces were a bit wonky.

During His Fish Period

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The Ginger David (Again)

The Original David, as intended by Michelangeloangeloangelo.

As our Arts correspondent Brian Restraining-Order commented, “Ginger pubes? Yuk! I need a dwinky after that. Bar Keep!”

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Munch – The Ginger Scream (Again)

The Scream by Munch (pronounced Munk, not Munch as in chomping on a cheese sandwich).

As Brian Banning-Order commented, “The Scream is the cream of the crop when it comes to paintings of people holding their heads and screaming.”

 

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