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Posts Tagged ‘Animals’

Aunty Bill,

I have been going out with a tortoise for a couple of weeks now. She is lovely and really enjoys gangsta rap, as do I.

I called round to see her last night and her mum said she couldn’t come out as she was hibernating in a shoe box stuffed with straw for the next four months.

What shall I do Aunty Bill? I am bereft without her and had bought tickets for the upcoming W’anka B’igwilly Gayreally concert.

Brandon, Utah

Aunty Bill Replies;

Hi Brandon,

One of the drawbacks of dating household pets, particularly a toothless land reptile with a soft body encased in a dome shaped shell (with the addition of clawed limbs) is that you have to adopt the softly softly catchee tortoise approach.

No good rushing things here pal. The best you can hope for is three to four months company from your new girl as its box time for the rest of the year, chowing down on lettuce and sleeping.

Nice idea with the tickets there Brandon (have you heard Fab Five Freddy & the Fuckwits latest? It’s sick, as the the youngsters say here on the wing). Hope you realise its going to take a long time to get there.

If the gig is in July I’d set off today.

Have you considered a Terrapin? You get to go swimming a lot. They are much smaller and more mobile. And they don’t eat lettuce.

Good luck!

Aunty Bill

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This goat is happy – no kidding!

goat

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Hello,

As you know Gfb prides itself on making stories up.

Well, for a change here is a true story about a likkle ikkle Baby Seal you may have heard of. We’ve christened him Sam. Sam is having a tough time of it.

seal2

You see Sam the pup is ginger and has been abandoned by his mum, who we will call Cecilia. Admittedly he’s no oil painting and in all honesty scares the bejesus out of us but the poor little mite deserves better.

Seal3

Born with rare brownish-red fur and almost completely blind he was rescued from a beach on an island off Russia, the name of which we have trouble spelling.  The pup’s colour is the result of an accumulation of iron in its fur.

seal

“He was hiding and waiting for his mother to come and feed him,” Said the nice man who found him and took him to a dolphinarium where he is being cared for.

On a brighter note, here are some Ginger Sheep.

ginger sheep

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Somebody asked to see the ginger Sphinx image again – happy to oblige!

 

Wonder what it makes of it all?

 

 

 

 

 

Somebody asked to see the ginger Al Jolson image again – as always happy to oblige!

jolson

Somebody asked to see the cute Polar Bear image again – as always happy to oblige!

polarbear

Somebody asked to see the Shane McGowan dancing in Riverdance image again – as always happy to oblige!

  Somebody asked to see the Gibbon playing a banjo image again – as always happy to oblige! Somebody asked to see the Saturday Night Fever Disco Chicken again – as always happy to oblige! Somebody asked to see Ali with a chicken on his head again – as always happy to oblige!

He Was Forty Years Ahead Of His Time

He Was Forty Years Ahead Of His Time

Somebody has asked to see the Einstein with a Col Au Vent Image again – as always happy to oblige! That's Why Physicists Shop At Iceland Somebody has asked to see Nelson Mandela with a walnut whip on his head again – as always happy to oblige! Lovely Someboday has asked to see the David Niven With A Wagon Wheel On His Head Image again – as always happy to oblige!

A Sad End To A Great Career

A Sad End To A Great Career

Somebody has asked to see the Leonardo Da Vinci wearing a yorkshire pudding on his head image again – as always happy to oblige!

The Da Vinci - A Batter Design

The Da Vinci – A Batter Design

Somebody has asked to see the Steve McQueen Great Escape image again – as always happy to oblige !

MCQUEEN

Chinstrap!

Last week somebody asked to see Picasso smoking his fishfingers……What a strange world we live in.

By The End He Was On 20 A Day

During His Fish Period

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Somebody asked to see the ginger Al Jolson image again – as always happy to oblige!

jolson

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Somebody asked to see the cute Polar Bear image again – as always happy to oblige!

polarbear

Somebody asked to see the Shane McGowan dancing in Riverdance image again – as always happy to oblige!

  Somebody asked to see the Gibbon playing a banjo image again – as always happy to oblige! Somebody asked to see the Saturday Night Fever Disco Chicken again – as always happy to oblige! Somebody asked to see Ali with a chicken on his head again – as always happy to oblige!

He Was Forty Years Ahead Of His Time

He Was Forty Years Ahead Of His Time

Somebody has asked to see the Einstein with a Col Au Vent Image again – as always happy to oblige! That's Why Physicists Shop At Iceland Somebody has asked to see Nelson Mandela with a walnut whip on his head again – as always happy to oblige! Lovely Someboday has asked to see the David Niven With A Wagon Wheel On His Head Image again – as always happy to oblige!

A Sad End To A Great Career

A Sad End To A Great Career

Somebody has asked to see the Leonardo Da Vinci wearing a yorkshire pudding on his head image again – as always happy to oblige!

The Da Vinci - A Batter Design

The Da Vinci – A Batter Design

Somebody has asked to see the Steve McQueen Great Escape image again – as always happy to oblige !

MCQUEEN

Chinstrap!

Last week somebody asked to see Picasso smoking his fishfingers……What a strange world we live in.

By The End He Was On 20 A Day

During His Fish Period

Read Full Post »

Somebody asked to see the cute Polar Bear image again – as always happy to oblige!

polarbear

Somebody asked to see the Shane McGowan dancing in Riverdance image again – as always happy to oblige!

  Somebody asked to see the Gibbon playing a banjo image again – as always happy to oblige! Somebody asked to see the Saturday Night Fever Disco Chicken again – as always happy to oblige! Somebody asked to see Ali with a chicken on his head again – as always happy to oblige!

He Was Forty Years Ahead Of His Time

He Was Forty Years Ahead Of His Time

Somebody has asked to see the Einstein with a Col Au Vent Image again – as always happy to oblige! That's Why Physicists Shop At Iceland Somebody has asked to see Nelson Mandela with a walnut whip on his head again – as always happy to oblige! Lovely Someboday has asked to see the David Niven With A Wagon Wheel On His Head Image again – as always happy to oblige!

A Sad End To A Great Career

A Sad End To A Great Career

Somebody has asked to see the Leonardo Da Vinci wearing a yorkshire pudding on his head image again – as always happy to oblige!

The Da Vinci - A Batter Design

The Da Vinci – A Batter Design

Somebody has asked to see the Steve McQueen Great Escape image again – as always happy to oblige !

MCQUEEN

Chinstrap!

Last week somebody asked to see Picasso smoking his fishfingers……What a strange world we live in.

By The End He Was On 20 A Day

During His Fish Period

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Beneath the waves a KILLER LURKS!

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