Barry Belcher – The Mystic Milkman’s Predictions For 2015 |

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Barry Belcher – The Mystic Milkman’s Predictions For 2015

December 30, 2014 by gingerfightback

I am Barry Belcher. I am a Milkman. I am Psychic. I predict predictions.

These were my predictions for 2014.

1. December 2012 – Like The Mayans I believe the world will end on 21st December 2012.

2. 2014 – Feet will be bigger in 2014 by an average of 7.54% per toe.

3. July 2014 – Nelson Mandela will finally depart the earth for a better place.

As you can see I was right about Nelson whilst NASA has confirmed that toes are 3.68% bigger on average this year. The world did end in 2012 but most men have yet to notice due to internet porn.

I know you are agog with anticipation to learn of my predictions for 2015.

So, without further ado…….Milk Bottle of Mystery…….what does the future foretell?

1. Everyone will take pointless images of themselves. These images will be called Selfies.

2. Dallas will be reinvented as a healthy eating soap opera set in the elasticated waistbanded, masticated heartland of Texas. Sallad will be the year’s Breaking Bad.

3. Taylor Swift’s nasal passage will be the setting for the new Star War’s franchise. She will sneeze the Millenium Falcon into hyper-space in spectacular fashion! “The Empire’s Hooter” will be a box office smash.

Now it is time for messages from “THE OTHER SIDE” –

Elaine, Walthamstow

The cat ate it.

Barbara, Adelaide

Mum kept the receipt in case you didn’t like the blouse.

Liang Bo in Shanghai

Bo Bing thinks velcro fasteners would be a safer bet for you.

Well folks, the Milk Bottle of Mystery is being returned to the Crate of Destiny.

Until next time……….HAPPY 2011!

Posted in Funny, Humor, Humour, UK | Tagged 2015, Breaking Bad, China, Comedy, Dallas, England, Funny, Humor, Humour, Nelson Mandela, New Year, Random, Satire, South Africa, Star Wars, Taylor Swift, Texas, TV, USA | 25 Comments

25 Responses

on December 30, 2014 at 1:43 pm | Reply El Guapo

Happy new year to you, Ma Fightback, and all of yours!
(And the stunning cavalcade of characters in your head!)
- on December 30, 2014 at 4:54 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Mr Guap! Likewise and all the best to you and yours for 2015
on December 30, 2014 at 3:24 pm | Reply silkpurseproductions

Congratulations on your stunning results for 2014. I’m pleased to hear that you have nothing to say on the whole “world coming to an end this month” that I have been reading about today. I will stick with your predictions. Happy New Year!
- on December 30, 2014 at 4:51 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Likewise. I for one look forward to Star Wars in Taylor swift’s conk!
on December 30, 2014 at 3:24 pm | Reply NancyTex

Happy New Year, Jim! I spat coffee out at the Mayan revelation. 😀
- on December 30, 2014 at 4:52 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Good!
  - on December 30, 2014 at 4:53 pm NancyTex
    
    I can always count on you for messing up my screen/keyboard at least once a week.
    …Except for that long, dark period when you left me high and dry without warning. Humpfff.
  - on December 30, 2014 at 5:21 pm gingerfightback
    
    Will be here next year Nancy. Not as often but working on a few new ideas to tickle your fancy!
on December 30, 2014 at 4:33 pm | Reply lostnchina

WHO is this Liang Bo in Shanghai you mention every year? He sounds familiar. Is he Irish?
- on December 30, 2014 at 4:52 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Half Irish and half welsh
on December 30, 2014 at 5:01 pm | Reply philosophermouseofthehedge

Half Irish and half Welsh? (Velcro so much easier after a night out)
Oh to somehow behold the Crate of Destiny…but that honor reserved for only the worthy few. It’s written down somewhere….no doubt the cat ate it…she’s just cleaning up for the new year.
Cheers for “In-Between Holidays Holiday”.
- on December 30, 2014 at 5:22 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Tomcat Fightback is now perched on the sofa watching Indiana Jones and the last crusade whilst I catch up with all the blogging activity. Love the bit where he meets hitler!
  - on December 30, 2014 at 6:19 pm philosophermouseofthehedge
    
    That’s a great movie!
on December 30, 2014 at 6:39 pm | Reply Sue Dreamwalker

Dear Ginger.. I hope you had a good Christmas, and you got over the spouts!!..
Wishing you a wonderful Happy New Year..
Hugs Sue xox
on December 31, 2014 at 10:45 am | Reply Catherine Johnson

Happy New Year!
- on December 31, 2014 at 3:11 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Same to you lass!
on January 1, 2015 at 2:56 am | Reply totsymae1011

Those are some pretty far out predictions but stranger things have happened. Your amazing soothsayer gifts are impressive, I must say.
- on January 3, 2015 at 12:05 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Thank You!
on January 1, 2015 at 3:52 am | Reply Richard Daybell

I am in prognosticatory awe.
- on January 3, 2015 at 12:05 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Keep them by your bedside to check how accurate they are!
on January 4, 2015 at 6:25 am | Reply kathryningrid

Thank heavens I can always rely on the old milk bottle to lead my way into the future with confidence, aplomb, and tons of panache. Not a clue, but lots of the other stuff. 😀
Happy, happy 2015!
Kath
- on January 4, 2015 at 1:05 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Panache is a lovely word!
  - on January 5, 2015 at 12:58 am kathryningrid
    
    Isn’t it, though! 🙂
  - on January 5, 2015 at 11:05 am gingerfightback
    
    Said quickly or slowly it works everytime
on January 5, 2015 at 8:29 pm | Reply abtwixt

Better than a horoscope! Merry New Years and all of that!