British PM David Cameron has played a dastardly final card in his bid to cling to power.
BANNING GINGERS FROM PUBLIC VIEW!
As he trails pointless oaf Ed Miliband in the polls, the posh boy “Who cares deeply” has decided to make Gingers a key plank of his 2015 election campaign.
In his speech today to the Idiocracy that is the Conservative Party, Cameron will say, “Look here Chaps, we’ve fucked over the poor, propped up the Bankers, divided old from young, gay from straight, black from white and STILL people don’t like us! Even giving pooftahs the right to marry hasn’t helped. I can only reach one conclusion. Gingers are to blame!”
To gasps from his dribbling, incontinent audience he blurted, “Banning Gingers from public life and stopping them using the internet to spread their gingery thingymajigs is all that is left to me. Polish my brogues please Fotheringham. Where is my fag?”
Last year, Gfb’s correspondent Gail Force-Winds revealed Tory plans to impose Burkhas on Gingers were shelved due to the fact that it was stupid. However, with the lads firing up in Iraq again and a need to appear to have some semblance of control domestically and internationally, the Ginger Question has been brought back.
Cameron’s comments put him at odds with President Barack Obama who, in a speech in Grimsby this month said, ‘We. Are not. Going. To tell. People what colour. Their hair. Should. Be.’
Ed Miliband’s reply was, “I have forgotten what I was going to say. Blah blah blah.”
Posterity, if we ever get to it, will judge him fairly
With a club hopefully. He’s out in Afghanistan topady marking the end of 14 years of pointlessness and lots of dead and maimed squaddies. Oh well the show returns to Iraq and Syria and then Jordan and then…….and then….
Pooftahs made me snort.
An oldy but a goodie – you can just imagine him saying that.
The horrifying this is, if he actually spoke like that, it would cause outrage, but might actually improve his standing in the polls. “He keeps it real our David. No bullshit from him etc”
He’s just like you and me. Honest – the focus groups tell him that
I have no idea what made me follow your blog., but I’m so glad I did now. This is hilarious.
Cheers!
No. They. shold. just. hand. out. the. appropriate. full. coverings.Like so many sistahs wear here.
(complete with entire head concealed and veils over the eye slot. Shoes can be stilettos, though..red ones….but gloves on the hands, maybe….can’t allow too much finger freedom…computers, you know)
Agreed. I. Too. Like to. Write. In the manner. Of. Obama’s Speech Patterns. Gotta love the full stop!
Big smiles at this one Ginger! 🙂
Dark skies over us Sue – Human Rights Act being watered down, snoopers charter and internet intercept. Jeez Big Brother wants to take a good look at us!
Yes Ginger.. we are all guilty until being proved innocent! ;( And Big Brother has his fingers in the darkest pies of all..
*laughing* You are a riot, GFB.
Cheers – although these jokers write their own scripts
You know. It strikes me that. the speech patterns. are reminiscent. of. Captain. Kirk….
Well spotted (sorry for the tardy response)