Secretary of State for Work and Fuckery, Iain Drunken-Spliff wants to lash fat people to houses to drive down energy consumption in the UK as part of the Government’s Green agenda.
IDS told Gfb, “I’m sick of all these fat bastards lolloping round the place in tracky bottoms stuffing McShite into themselves, blaming their glands and then expecting the NHS to staple their gobs.”
He continued after a shot of morphine, “I’m not fucking havin’ it. They are fat – like a Seal in winter fat – fat is good insulation – so tie themto the outside of houses as insulation. Energy consumption goes down and these tubsters are actually of some use. Genius or what!”
Drunken-Spliff then went for a lie down.
British Gas told Gfb, “We have no plans to lash the fat to houses, attractive as that may be. We are farming the obese for their tallow and hope the first Obese Oil Fired Power Station will be coming on-line in 3 or so years.”
Yootha N’asia, Secretary of The Society of Obese People said, “Are you going to eat that?”
Iain should get together with my Mayor. They’d have a grand old time, I’m sure.
Is that old Fordy?
The one and only.
ha ha ha. Loved it.
Brooks Newman – a man worth googling
I have a few neighbors who would qualify as tallow farmees. Does the department want names?
Yes please John
Fatso Fanny, Blimpy Bub, Huge Hu, Leftover Lilly,Wide Wade.
What a chew crew!
If you run short of insulation we have plenty here to help you out.
I think we are onto something here. Fat farms could have a whole new meaning
I’ve always thought that if we could somehow harvest the fat from those with excess we could have a very viable fuel source.
Like whale oil in years gone by