Dear Aunty Bill
I recently became a Father for the first time. Is it normal for your first born to be a Penguin?
Dense Des,
Des Moines, Boing Boing, Idaho, USA
Aunty Bill Replies;
Dear Des,
One of the side effects of global warming is the migration of animals from their natural habitats.
Recent cases have included a women from Sale who gave birth to a whale, a young lass from Ware who gave birth to a Hare and a lady in red who gave birth to a bed.
You’ll be asking yourself; “How did my wife meet a penguin?”
It is likely that in its long migration from colder climes, little Pingu got lost, swam up your soil stack and bit your wife on the bottom as she was performing her daily ablutions.
This is how Penguins procreate and it is likely that he mistook your wife’s rear end for a mate.
Penguins make a great addition to any family. Their staple diet is sardines on toast so they are cheap and easy to feed. Just make sure that the bath water is not too hot when you put him to bed.
Bottle feed rather than breast.
gingerfightback.wordpress.com 
Where is Batman when you need him?
That is a riddle!
I heard about a woman from Niger who gave birth to a tiger so I guess anything’s possible
The girl from Peru who gave birth to a Gnu rings a bell too
How about the girl from Pookipsie who gave birth to a gypsy
The gril from Troon who gave birth to a broom?
Surely giving birth to a bed is a bit of a stretch……of the imagination. 🙂
Superb advice Aunty Bill
A tad……maybe……NEVER!
Interesting de tails with the dress suit – but no top hat?
The cane mutiny!
He or she will always be dressed for the occasion!
And as Susie says, black and white is always a classic look….and the family will be getting plenty of looks?
And fish!
Who doesn’t love a wee penguin?
They seem happy souls