NANSTACK in Basildon
Ian Drunken-Spliff – Secretary of State for Knobheadedness has employed IKEA to develop a revolutionary stacking system to warehouse Pensioners.
The system, known as “NANSTACK” is believed by Drunken-Spliff to offer a radical new way of reducing adult care costs.
Ian Drunken-Spliff
Drinken-Spliff said, “Like the cripples and dossers who are ruining this country, old fuckers clog everything up from hospitals to buses. It needs sorting. NANSTACK is a highly efficient way of housing these old farts. They will be tightly packed to keep warm – important as there will be no lighting or heating thus demonstrating our Green Credentials! It also cures loneliness! Furthermore think of all the houses freed up for Buy t0 Let Landlords like me to snap up! Am I a fuckin genius or what!”
Drunken-Spliff then went for a shot of morphine.
As the pictures below show, Pensioners can be loaded onto lorries for transit to the stacking centres prior to the allocation of their cosy shelf!
War War 2 hero Derek Sponge receives the gratitude of a nation
Derek being lodged @ NANSTACK Worthing
Per Abba-Arrival from IKEA told Gfb’s Lucy Gammon, “The trials have gone well. The only sticking point is the amount of mince per meatball in the daily feeding.”
Anita Dayglow OBE, Chief Executive of Elderly UK told Gfb, “Do you want to buy a raffle ticket? First prize is a blanket!”
We Are All In It Together
gingerfightback.wordpress.com 
Nanstack, oh GFB…:-D
In 10 years time this will be mooted – just remember where you read it first Joe!
Can you Dragon’s Den this?
Aaaahhhmmm Ooooooot!
For economy, can’t the shelves be done away with and the boxes simply stacked?
That’ll be in phase 2 – they need to iron out the ergonomics a bit
Oh, are ergonomics the knobbly bits on the old folk?
That is their dinner
😀
Phrase Three is having them catapulted out to sea? Swimming is low impact and good exercise…and the US has a welcome raft out!
I knew we could rely on you
I think it is a good idea to stash the elderly where they will be out of the queue at the supermarket.
Plans are afoot John – believe me!
Pure genius! The elderly can look forward to being a part of not any furniture, but IKEA furniture.
The corporate take over of our lives continues apace
Such potential! I’m nearly at the pensioner stage, already working at downsizing, I love IKEA, and, by coincidence, my grandchildren call me Nan. Nanstackers are definitely in my future–I’d like them better if I can get out and do my own thing by day, but come evening, I’m happy to be warehoused in a Nanstacker! It’s time as come!
I dare you to go to your local IKEA and ask for a Nanstacker Debra!
Ian is such a humanitarian! …. can get a space on request? …. such as, I want the space on one side of Nan Debra.
You old smoothie
I’m getting me one of them for the folks.
There’s a sale (sail?) on them at the moment!
Now one of those with a sail would get me to work no problem. The white van men wouldn’t stand a chance
Fantastic! Do I need to put in my reservation now, or can I just move to the UK in retirement, go on the dole, and get scooped up at random? Also, do elderly gingers get any preferential treatment in the new system, or can I leave my hair its naturally dull and lifeless brown? Inquiring minds, and all that rubbish…
xo,
Kathryn
No need to worry about hair colour and we are working on a franchise model for the english speaking world. “Where there is a forklift NanStack can operate”