Ginger Sooty filed this from Copacabananananana Beach last night.
Hello,
Philipp Laum Lifts The Sausage Of Destiny
Germany Won The World Cup!
Philipp Laum held the FIFA Golden Banger of Destiny aloft in the Maracana last night and proclaimed, “V R der Champs Ja!”
Their win had much to do with the inventive attacking play of midfield dynamos Glock and Spiel and the extremely strong ankles of Bastein Shcweinsteiger who took a pasteing from the leery Latin layabouts of Argentina (who should have won).
The Germans wonderfully coiffed Coach, Joachim “Me Dye My Hair? – Never!” Louw can now relax and work out the final piece of his masterplan for footballing dominance – the reintroduction of the mullets.
Holland beat Brazil 3-0 in the 3rd place play off game and this probably means curtains for Brazil coach “Big” Phil and his team of wailing God botherers.
So well done to Germany.
My highlights revolve around two moments involving the Dutch team.
Firstly there was Arjen Robben’sh,”I tripped ova der Mexican’sh shaushage to earn der penlti,” incident.
And then Robin Van Persie’s dive-volley header against Spain which marked the beginning of the end of a wonderful Spanish team. This is even more extraordinary when you consider RVP had a meat pie on his head at the time.
Other Things You May Have Missed
Darth Vader has mad himself available for selection for Germany.
On Me Head Luke!
Sadly, Buddha has announced his retirement from international football.
Benedict Cumberbatch announced that England would never win the World Cup, “Until we play 3 at the back.”
Thank God It Is Over!
gingerfightback.wordpress.com 
Touche to the last line. Somehow, the anticipation was more exciting than the actual event.
Yep!
Thank you for guiding this novice through the maze that is World cup. I now feel I could turn over a bus with the best of them.
It dragged towards the end John, just say to people “Xx need to sort out their striker situation” everyone nods sagely and daren’t ask you anything else for,fear of displaying no,knowledge about the sport
Got it. I think Argentina needed to sort out their striker situation and maybe they would have won the cup. (hows that?)
Marvellous – you are now a bone fide football expert.
At least the final game wasn’t decided on kicks. 🙂
Great goal too
It was a pretty one!
This is why they should have the goal line assistants… They would’ve noticed the sausage in the penalty box!
Mexico were great value this tournament and really were very unlucky to go out.
Agreed as were Chile – will be reading your book next week!
Oh man. I forgot about them.
Absolutely. And they would’ve given the Germans a much better match, assuming they’d overcome Columbia. Seriously, how the hell did Brazil even get to the semi..?
And thank you, sir. I hope it lives up to the low expectations you must already have!
I heard that Germany won because they were holding and giving at the right time, being fast or slow and getting to the line. I mean Argentina hit them and hurt them defended and attacked but at the end of the day, Germany got around the back! That’s what I heard anyway!
You heard right – give and go into the channels
Until next time, huh! With Darth Vader, Germany will be unstoppable. I’ve never seen so many sad people as the Brazilians. That was a major sad on. This is brilliant!
Their loss to the Germans is one of the most important football matches of all time Amy.
The World Cup has so much history. I didn’t get to watch much this time because I have limited cable access, unfortunately. But next time I’ll be watching and will be rooting for England!
Cheers – judging by England’s performance this time you won’t have to root too long for them!
The fact that Sooty is willing to travel the world in order to deliver the real story is worthy of a Pulitzer. With all the flights from Brazil filled to the brim as people return home, I hope the pilots don’t encounter this. http://tinyurl.com/nbxw2w6
Now that is a close shave VIVE LA SAUSAGE!
I thought you would enjoy that.
I missed the entire tournament because I knew you’d provide me with everything I needed to know. I now feel sportingly at peace with the world.
Aaaaaahhhhh…….
Now that the World Cup is over – all the teams are being grilled. Best not to count the sausages before they are netted?
You speak as one who knows…….
As I don’t ‘do’ football, I am proud to say that I didn’t watch a single match!
However, I cannot resist a Ginger Sooty…Great stuff GFB.
Best wishes, Pete.
Cheers Pete