The 2014 budget and subsequent #ToryBingo furore has led many to ask? What things do hardworking people really enjoy? To answer this question GFB has undertaken an exclusive poll of hardworking people and the results show that it’s not just bingo and beer hardworking people enjoy.
Top 10 things that hardworking people enjoy;
1 – Being slapped on the buttocks with a rolled up copy of The Sun.
2 – Eating chips
3 – Biting cats
4 – Opening letters addressed to their neighbours
5 – Smoking crack
6 – Masturbating whilst watching Benefits Street
7 – Holidaying in Lanzarote
8 – Auditioning for X Factor
9 – Watching granny porn (fave film ‘Gum Jobs’)
10 – Twitter and Facebook trolling
Daniel Wankstain coalition insider commented, “The Government will be thrilled with the results of GFB’s poll. We know we’re in tune with the hardworking and indeed for that matter the handwanking people of Britain. Who doesn’t like a game of bingo and a warm can of Fosters on a Friday night? But as a Government we know we can do more and are actively working on free porn credits for older people, cat biting lessons for unemployed young people and Crack on prescription for single parents and the disabled. Now, got to dash, it’s Happy Hour in the Commons Bar, tally ho!’
Deficit? What Deficit?
Just remember we are all in this together!
gingerfightback.wordpress.com 
I think it was one of the gov’ts greatest mistakes trying to combine older and younger porn afficionados in the downing Streett financed boondoggle “Nursing Home”.
Plus the actor they had portraying Blair was just crepy.
Gum porn is going to be the way our freshly released pension funds will be squandered on by feckless elderly people in the future!
Better than the US government’s idea of what normal hardworking people enjoy. List goes something like:
– Caviar fights on the private lake
– Romp through the eastern garden with the butler
– Phoning up 3 limos for transport and watching them fight when they arrive
– Rolling over Mexican immigrants with the Segway
– Mooning sports fans from the skybox
– Arranging private car collection alphabetically, from Alfa Romeo to Zonda
Jeez life is hard in the States. See, hardwork pays!
What about
Trying to get your toe nail clippings to land in a Coke carton.
Pissing cigarette ‘dog-ends’ down the hole in the pub urinal ( entertainment no longer available since 2007 smoking ban).
Laughing at people falling over.
Pinching women’s bottoms. (have to go to Italy to enjoy this where it is still legal).
No more Public Executions. (Never had a decent picnic since that stopped).
Trying to see down the barmaid’s top when she pours your pint.
Deliberately ordering a drink from a barmaid so she has to bend over.
Calling a female employee behind a bar, a barmaid.
Feeling obliged to ‘tut’ and roll your eyes disdainfully when someone says something Politically Incorrect when what you really want to do is piss yourself laughing.
I love to bend over in bars when a busty barmaid serves me a pint of frothy top. Mind you this is more to do with trapped wind than eroticism
Abtwixt, you are so out of touch. Nobody has one of those cheap Alfas anymore.
Those stuck with them are probably lazy; you know, teenagers and stuff.
I always liked Alfas
Oh so real. So real.
Oh hit me, baby! Simple pleasures… 🙂
Indeed Susie! Thwack!!!!
During the American Revolution we trained chickens to be able to tell a torie from an American Patriot.
That’s when we were able to have a-chicken-a-torie.
Times have changed. What a Crimea!
Perhaps world disputes should be settled by pun offs between leaders. Just think not strength, wisdom or emotional intelligence would win the day but the means to pun the other to defeat.
Man… I knew biting cats was big in the 80’s. But I didn’t know it was making a resurgence.
It’s underground at the moment – hopes are high that it will be a breakout sport in Rio in 2016
Oh okay, that makes more sense.
Good!
Gum Jobs… I fixated on that, and then looked up granny porn, and found out that it existed. I have never been so creeped out, or worried about my homeland…
Tim Berners Lee was on TV over here last week extolling the internet as a means of free expression and creatviity. At least gerontophiles are no longer excluded from society.