Oily
I was wondering if there is an opening for a guy like me in your movies. I am 6 feet tall, tanned and my buttocks are pert. I can whistle the back catalogue of the Beatles whilst under water and recently escorted well-known Dolly Bird, Dolores Titwank to the opening of the “Dixy, Trixie, Lixie Southern Fried Chicken Y’all” shop in Harlesden, where I ate chicken nuggets off her ample cleavage.
I have no nipples though.
Any use to you?
Nippleless Nippleby
Oily Replies;
I know Dolores well. Met her through her sister Fellatio Felicity from Faversham. Lovely girl. So giving. Prone to speaking with her mouth full though. Causes a right mess. Little wonder my laundry bill is so high!
Nippy I have absolutely no doubt I could use you. On our books we have all manner of odd balls freaks, kinksters, fetishists, perverts, onanists, duoists, orgiests and various other made up words. So long as you aren’t a Tory blue blood. Got to draw the line somewhere. They always go too far. Not enough to f**k one, two or a small intimate group of like minded individuals, they have to f**k entire communities who never asked for it in the first place.
Oh my a bit of politics people.
My name is Oily George I’m here all week. Or until my bail is paid.
Free The Oily 1!
gingerfightback.wordpress.com 
And here I saw thinking this would be Oily pitching his new invention of a buttocks-installed credit card reader – “Just swipe your card between the buttocks! Revolutionize the stripper industry! Fittings for men, women and sheep!”
Glad to see that instead, he is still altruistically helping people.
He’s off to the Ukraine next week. Ramp the manparts or somesuch…..there will be statues to him in Balaclava (which incidentally he used in a number of his animal based erotic movies)
Oily is such an inclusive guy!
Oh I don’t know — I think part of the community who drink the pablum gladly — that distracting agent spewed about by the Tory blue bloods — are enjoying being screwed, however they don’t how deeply. But as you say, they never asked for it — don’t mind me Ginger — I’m off on a tangent 😀
Nihilism is a potent political force. I like your tangents Sandee!
I believe that with training pert buttocks of steel can crack walnuts, but not sure if there’s much demand in the movie industry for such talent. Just a suggestion.
Perhaps some form of sci fi thriller?
Oily sounds like a cousin of mine who did, indeed, make a rather handsome living from his sofa cleavage.
Any idea whether an onanist invented “the selfie”? I’d think so.
Odds on
This makes me want to cut off my nipples in order to achieve my dreams of fame. I may run that by the missus though…
I have been forced to place a cushion over my groin after reading this…….
Well, after all, there are some people who make their fortune with their groins too….
Good point well made!