Hello
I was visiting my Nan yesterday to check on her taps. Apparently they were dripping.
She’s great my Nan. 128 smokes 40 a day, drinks her share and swears like a Scaffolder with piles.
Through the fug of cigarette smoke I found her sitting in her chair (the special one that tips up and vibrates -“me only pleasure now that Norman has gorn” as she puts it) watching a spot of daytime telly. I think it was “Bodies For Cash In The Attic” or something.
Shirley’s 5 bean chilli worked its magic and before I could display my DIY acumen, I needed the facilities. I took The Sun up with me and had a go at the Crossword. The coffee break one. 6 hours later I still had only got three answers (Egg, Tea and Roy Keane if you want to know).
Nan wasn’t too happy when I couldn’t fix her taps.
“Useless twat,” she called me, coughed a chesty smoker’s cough and brought up a gobful of phlegm which landed on me Reeboks.
Bit harsh I thought.
Laters
Bob
gingerfightback.wordpress.com 
Crosswords! The devil’s plaything!
How write you are (see what I did there!)
Clever!
Actually, Rob Keane, his nephew.
Damn! That explains yuttocks
Cross words cause fights! But, then, so do reasoned arguments.
Step outside sir!
If I could get programs like “Bodies for Cash in the Attic” I’d get a TV.
You are not missing much
Crosswords are the work of the Devil. When you end up in Hell that is your eternal punishment, and they can never be solved.
Or Soduko!
Bodies for Cash in the Attic. Ha! Brilliant. I’d watch that.
Quest will have it on one day
I prefer Sudoku when I’m in the can, but to each his own!
Thanks – crossword man myself
Crossword puzzles just make you cross…and that ain’t talking religion.
(Tap repairs? Wellies instead of Reeboks…unless just knockoffs?)
Bought off a man called Les in a pub – actually they are both right shoes but Bob hasn’t quite mastered that yet
nothing wrong with being right all the time – few manage that.
That’s about how I do on the crosswords. I’d like to see the Bodies show, too. That’s right up my alley!
I am talking to the Production Company about this and a reality programme about fences of the famous
I just don’t think a Nan should be so harsh! Fix her taps and see if she doesn’t relax a little bit!
Don’t faucet though! Ho ho
I never got the ‘reading on the toilet’ thing, that you parody so well here. Get in, drop it, clean up, and go. Why hang around? I must be missing something, as it has endured as a pastime! Regards, Pete.
“Me” time!