Hello,
My lovely wife Shirley has taken up Zumba.
Yesterday, I was on the pot studying the racing form. She was bomping about upstairs. To that bird who married Russell Bland, Katie Rihanna or some such.
I decided to put a monkey on White Supremacist in the 2.30 at Ascot when, in mid wipe, I heard a loud crack and a Reebok clad foot appeared in the ceiling overhead. It was Shirley’s foot.
“Get your big arse up ‘ere and help!” She cried, her foot wiggling in despair over me. Like the sword of Damocles it was (I’ve got a box set of classic Greek myths all starring Kevin Sorbo and that girl from ER; the one who had a crutch, I found out she doesn’t use one in real life – now that’s what I call acting!)
Part of my pellet remained despite three flushes but I figured where my priorities lay and bolted upstairs to help Shirl out of her predicament.
She was like a lycra clad Rumpelstiltskin.
“I was gonna get round to fixing that.”
“Useless twat.” She said as I pulled her out. Sadly the Reebok (A Chrissie prezzie from Yours Truly) came away and landed in the bowl amongst me business.
It took ages to flush.
White Supremacist romped home though!
Laters.
Bob
You can read more of Bob’s musings whilst on the pot here and here. Your lives will be infinitely richer for doing so.
I can seen yr problem with the Reebok. When you thread an elephant through the eye of a needle, it is the tail which gives you the most trouble…old saying in Hindi. Search me what it means though.
I’m struggling too Ankur!
Bob should take his winnings and invest in wider pipes…
A great suggestion as always Guap!
OMG that was some funny shit~ Literally!
Good!
My parents had a battery-operated alarm clock in the bathroom right behind the toilet (no, I don’t know why, either, unless my father is trying to beat his best time) and one day it fell into the toilet. Instead of trying to fish it out my sister, who was visiting, tried flushing it down the toilet…repeatedly…then she tried putting buckets of water inside. (I’m sorry we are not made of the same genetic material – my sister and I.)
Of course, a plastic alarm clock made in China isn’t meant to be in the toilet and it wouldn’t go down properly, got jammed somewhere in the sewage pipe, the building maintenance (this is a condo unit) was called. Being on the 4th floor with about another 10 floors above them, this wreaked havoc on the drainage system.
In short, I’d flush a pair of Reeboks down the toilet any day over a plastic alarm clock.
This is brilliant advice and worthy of a post!
Hysterical! I can see it all!
Horrible sight
I can’t stop seeing it! lol
Dangling……..
Holy crap that was funny! Literally!
There is a new Bob out today!