Oily,
Are you still auditioning for your new film Henry’s Hosepipe Heaven? In some bizarre twist of fate my penis has a built in sprinkler system and I would be ideal for the role of the hose.
Richard, Nuneaton
Oily Replies;
Due to the hot weather and inevitable hosepipe ban we had to hold off on that shoot. However you could end up answering many problems.
Have you full control over the sprinkler? Have you a remote control? Can you sprinkle in several directions simultaneously?
I need to know length and dimensions of said hosepipe. Perhaps send me a picture of your wife and her best friend Sophie that Friday night they got carried away on the girls night out.
Sorry you don’t have such a pic? Ok.
You want one?
Oily
gingerfightback.wordpress.com 
If you need someone to come into your house and piss all over the toilet I can send my kids round.
Still retain that skill sadly.
I’ve got skills in that regard (as Tom Cruise said to Cameron Diaz in ‘Knight and Day’ – if you haven’t seen that film…don’t)
It would be so convenient in a kitchen fire…
I think the attachment could be this year’s must have Xmas present for the man who has everything Susie!
And when I saw the title in my inbox, I locked up in incomprehension for a full second and a half.
Won’t the work internet monitors be amused.
Hope they are/were!
Cheers demonstrating his good side by offering pics.
All heart and blackmail
Quite a guy!
He’s off to LA at the end of the month Frank looking for finance for his next ahem…. masterpiece
Chuckling with you on this one Ginger…. Don’t go splashing where you shouldn’t 🙂 😉
Tap to be sure Sue!
Heeheehee.
Okay so is Hoser (used in Canada) any relation to Hosepipe?
2nd cousins John
So if you sprinkle when you tinkle you’re supposed to be neat and wipe the seat, right? So if you have one of those backwards and forwards sprinklers, we’re basically all bolloxed 🙂
Utterly!
Hosepipe. I am not going to call it hosepipe.
Fine by me!
Good reason to have a big backyard? (Neighbors would learn not to peek through the fence…)
Could be damaging to conviviality in the neighbourhood
I could’ve used that sprinkler this past month…my grass is brown from the heat.
On its way!
🙂