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Ginger Beauty – With Oily George!

March 19, 2013 by gingerfightback

Heads Up

Dear Oily

My man left me for another woman. I have an amazing figure but sadly lack a head at the moment. Would you like to go out with me? Have you got a spare head you can send me?

Penelope, Bridport

Oily Replies,

Penny you need to stop looking at the negatives. Everyone has their cross to bare. Look at the following list of well known X Factor celebrities. All are/were missing something:

Admiral Nelson – Arm and eye

Van Gogh – Ear

David Beckham – Brain

Kelly Osborne – Talent

Simon Cowell – Conscience

Stephen Hawking – Various

Hitler – Testicle

Greyfriars Bobbie – An Owner

And yet they are/were all superstars in their own right overcoming all sorts of disadvantages in the process. One of my musical heroes Ian ‘Mac’ McCullough of Echo and The Bunnymen had a song called ‘Heads Will Roll’ ( oops sorry). The lyrics – if he were to change them completely – go like this:

“I’m the greatest singer there’s ever been

Doncha know wor I mean

Yeah sure baby I ain’t got no spleen

But calm down our kid I ain’t no has been”

So take heart, look ahead (oops sorry). Get out there and party. Live life to the max. As my friend the actress Lena Hedley (oops sorry) says -Hedonism rocks. (oops sorry).

Oily

Posted in Beauty Tips, ginger, humor, nonsense, Stories, Writing | Tagged Beauty, Blogs, Comedy, Dating, Fashion, Humor, Humour, Sex, Show Business | 28 Comments

28 Responses

on March 19, 2013 at 1:32 pm | Reply aFrankAngle

Thoughtful advise by Oily, but he surprised me by not asking her out anyway.
- on March 19, 2013 at 5:19 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  A cheap date if nothing else Frank!
on March 19, 2013 at 1:39 pm | Reply La La

Was heading (oops sorry) out the door when I read this great advice, Oily. Well said.
- on March 19, 2013 at 5:20 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Definitely a moment!
on March 19, 2013 at 2:13 pm | Reply Pecora Nera

Lol, thanks for the laugh when I am supposed to be working.
- on March 19, 2013 at 5:20 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Good!
on March 19, 2013 at 2:17 pm | Reply Shackled and Crowned

I heart Oily. His advice is always on the dot!
- on March 19, 2013 at 5:21 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Exactly – he may be a tad porn tinged but his heart is in the right place – even for the clueless as well as the headless
on March 19, 2013 at 2:22 pm | Reply El Guapo

I’m amazed you were able to decipher the Echo lyrics through the copious amounts of fog machine and cigarette smoke at their shows.
I think Oilys advice here is neck and neck with his best.
(See what I did there?)
- on March 19, 2013 at 3:11 pm | Reply Red
  
  Which would give a new meaning to Oily necking with her. Bwahahaha.
  - on March 19, 2013 at 3:41 pm El Guapo
    
    Egad! nice imagery…
  - on March 19, 2013 at 5:23 pm gingerfightback
    
    Oh Deary Deary me!
  - on March 19, 2013 at 5:30 pm Red
    
    *giggles uncontrollably*
- on March 19, 2013 at 5:22 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  A masterful comment Guap! I’ve dug out me old Bunnymen albums this today must give them a listen again!
on March 19, 2013 at 3:21 pm | Reply Waldo "Wally" Tomosky

But he could look down into her soul; that may give him a “heads up.”
- on March 19, 2013 at 5:23 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Is this some kind of comment competition?
  - on March 20, 2013 at 12:57 am Waldo "Wally" Tomosky
    
    yes
on March 19, 2013 at 6:16 pm | Reply appletonavenue

Poor woman, and all she has is Oily for advice.
- on March 19, 2013 at 6:34 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Tis sad enough!
on March 19, 2013 at 9:17 pm | Reply facelikeafryingpan

I lack a sense of humour, but my friends Stumpy and Cyclops tell me it is hilarious. I will take their word for it and say “well done.”
- on March 20, 2013 at 7:19 am | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Cheers!
on March 19, 2013 at 9:18 pm | Reply kateshrewsday

Gorge, only you would have comforting strategies for someone with no head. A man of man talents, it seems.
- on March 20, 2013 at 7:20 am | Reply gingerfightback
  
  That he is Kate
on March 20, 2013 at 12:43 am | Reply kathryningrid

I’m having a little trouble wrapping my head around this one. Unthinkable!
- on March 20, 2013 at 7:21 am | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Is it head and shoulders the best advice you have heard Kathryn?
on March 20, 2013 at 8:02 pm | Reply braintomahawk

Sounds like you can cobble those parts together for something…
- on March 21, 2013 at 8:11 am | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Frankensteinien or somesuch.
on March 21, 2013 at 12:36 pm | Reply Carrie Rubin

I would add Kristen Stewart and her lack of facial expressions to this list of celebrities who succeeded despite their deficiencies…