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The Sperm With A Perm – He’s A Game Gamete!

January 29, 2013 by gingerfightback

Gingerfightback is pleased to announce that The Sperm With A Perm will be providing a regular update on his hopes and fears for impregnation. So, without further ado, over to you Sperm With A Perm!

Hi Everyone!

Boy am I excited to be writing for Gingerfightback! In fact I get excited about everything! I go all wriggly and start bumping into my 120 million relations! Big Family or What! Got me hair done special too! I love a perm!

I can’t wait to get my chance at sentient life! Think of all the things to look forward to! Having a name! Dandruff! Chewing! Learning Spanish! Gripping things! Getting a bag caught on the armrest of a train! ONIONS! Inappropriate comments! Clothes!

Just gotta find an egg and let my 23 chromosomes do their best!

Hang on! I can hear MC Hammer being cranked up on the stereo! Always a sign with this lad!

Must Go!

Right……Ready Or Not…..Here I Come!

You Can’t Touch This!

Posted in ginger, humor, nonsense, Uncategorized, Writing | Tagged Adulthood, Blogs, Children, Fatherhood, Hair, Humor, Humour, Life, Relationships, Sex, Writing | 35 Comments

35 Responses

on January 29, 2013 at 5:36 pm | Reply Michael D. Kelleher

Outstanding news. Sign me up (again).
- on January 29, 2013 at 7:52 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Will do!
on January 29, 2013 at 6:07 pm | Reply Red

Spanish onion scented dandruff. Hmm. He has goals.
- on January 29, 2013 at 7:55 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  You’ve got to have a dream Red!
on January 29, 2013 at 6:14 pm | Reply sandylikeabeach

This is one of your best yet! Very funny and I love the line “I can’t wait to get my chance at sentient life!”
- on January 29, 2013 at 7:52 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Cheers Sandy and thanks for the Reblog!
on January 29, 2013 at 6:17 pm | Reply sandylikeabeach

Reblogged this on sandylikebeach and commented:
I’ve never reblogged anything before, but I just couldn’t resist this one. If you haven’t been reading GingerFightBack, you don’t know what you’ve been missing, although if you continue reading you’ll find out and then you’ll be signing up for more, but not here, over at his place. And props on the title because it is one of the best I’ve come (no pun intended) across.
on January 29, 2013 at 8:47 pm | Reply GOF

He looks like J.S.Bach. It’s high time the world had a ginger composer.
- on January 30, 2013 at 12:17 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  His Piano Concerto in A flat is something to behold if it wasn’t so sticky.
on January 29, 2013 at 9:35 pm | Reply becca3416

That’s definitely the sperm that got my mom knocked up. I know because my hair looks exactly like his when I let it dry naturally. Thanks for life perm sperm, but fuck you for my jheri curl.
- on January 30, 2013 at 12:20 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Sorry to hear that – I have curly toes and no amount of beating with hammers will straighten them. (Don’t try this for your hair by the way – it’ll only cause split ends and possibly brain damage)
  - on January 30, 2013 at 2:17 pm becca3416
    
    Whew, good thing you warned me. I was off to my tool box.
  - on January 30, 2013 at 2:48 pm gingerfightback
    
    Here to serve.
on January 29, 2013 at 10:45 pm | Reply josefkul

I think the perm sperms got some pretty great chances at achieving sentience. The hairs on its head alone should provide a significant advantage, both at resisting the outside forces inside any prospective mates fallopian tubes and ultimately with latching. The red hair will also set it apart from its bald brethren. Women hate baldies!
- on January 30, 2013 at 12:15 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  He’ll rest easy in that knowledge. Well, a little less wriggly than normal.
on January 29, 2013 at 10:54 pm | Reply hollyannegetspoetic

I wonder if the babies will come out with perms…. I think I’d like one of those…. Not that I’m chatting up Mr Perm… Erm….
- on January 30, 2013 at 12:14 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Erm…..Do you think Ted Hughes ever wrote a poem about permed sperm?
  - on January 31, 2013 at 10:41 pm hollyannegetspoetic
    
    I think he should’ve done…
  - on February 1, 2013 at 6:57 am gingerfightback
    
    Sylvia may have had something to say about it.
on January 30, 2013 at 5:41 am | Reply Ankur Mithal

Humble reminder of all the good things in life we take for granted…
- on January 30, 2013 at 12:13 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Exactly Ankur! There’s probably a few more things but this is not a bad start.
on January 30, 2013 at 12:45 pm | Reply La La

Haha a sperm with a perm! I will be expecting more posts from this guy.
- on January 30, 2013 at 2:48 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  So will I – hope the writing is going OK
  - on January 30, 2013 at 3:41 pm La La
    
    It is going so-so. I get side tracked. I need someone to make me a schedule and then stand over me and watch to make sure I do it.
  - on January 30, 2013 at 5:30 pm gingerfightback
    
    If you find that person – you can sell him/her for a lot of money – having a literature gimp will be one way to make a fortune I suppose – but stick at it! Don’t want to sound like a cracked record but you have talent and originality by the bucketload!
on January 30, 2013 at 4:16 pm | Reply poetmcgonagall

Brilliant addition to your menagerie of characters!
- on January 30, 2013 at 4:17 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Cheers – he’s a bit like them Dutch dancers in terms of movement!
  - on January 30, 2013 at 9:24 pm poetmcgonagall
    
    The Sperm With A Perm must surely have a soulmate among the Eggs?
  - on January 31, 2013 at 5:20 am gingerfightback
    
    Yeah but I can’t think of a pun at the moment!
on January 30, 2013 at 9:14 pm | Reply A Gripping Life

Quite a wish list – enough for two lifetimes, I’d say.
No matter, you can do it! I have faith that you can beat out 120 million other sperm. You’ve got one thing going for you that they don’t… a perm!!! Now go find that egg!
- on January 31, 2013 at 5:21 am | Reply gingerfightback
  
  A challenge I am duty bound to accept!
on February 1, 2013 at 4:55 pm | Reply The Hook

What can I say? HILARIOUS!
- on February 1, 2013 at 5:09 pm | Reply gingerfightback
  
  Cheers
on February 2, 2013 at 9:12 am | Reply benzeknees

It would have never occurred to me to write from the point of view of a sperm! Hahahahahaha
- on February 2, 2013 at 10:26 am | Reply gingerfightback
  
  He’s a nice lad when you get to know him!