Agnes DuPont is back with more tales from her previous lives!!!!!! Read other lies here and here!.
Hello,
Recently I was in Tesco’s rummaging amongst the mangoes with a view to buying one for my pudding later that evening. As I popped a fruit into my trolley, I felt a tad woozy and a touch fey.
I had an insatiable desire to free my people from Roman tyranny and build a new by-pass around Colchester!
The spirit of Boadicea, Queen of the Iceni had entered me! (Some of you may know her as Boudica. I don’t know when her name changed. It was the same when Peking changed to Beijing, Bombay to Mumbai and Swindon to The Barcelona of Wiltshire). But I digress.
Within minutes I was scurrying down the cheese aisle in my chariot, courgettes affixed to each wheel to hobble any Roman oppressor. On I rode, scything down the enemy, my face now tinted the tint of blue woad tinty stuff from a toilet block.
A scream, nay ululation invoking the ancient Druid Gods saw me rent the air to tackle these Roman curs. With a cry of “Death To The Romans”, I sped through the automatic doors, into the sunlight and trundled toward freedom, shattering their yoke of tyranny.
Sadly the trolley wheel locking device was activated as I exited the car park and the lardy centurions of G4S ended my uprising.
The Magistrate deferred the sentence of Crucifixion to 120 hours of litter picking on the A13. I did get my pound back for the trolley though.
But, no longer will I be enslaved by men in sandals, togas and sporting French Crops!
You may think I am a fantasist ………..I would beg to differ.
Mango anyone?
Regards,
Agnes
gingerfightback.wordpress.com 
Boy, the lengths some people will go to to avoid a mango pudding.
This is why the Roman Empire collapsed, you know.
Good point well made!
Mango? Yes, please.
Two for One offer at the moment
I’m really jealous of that tank top. I want everyone to know: “I was there.” too.
I want to date her hairdresser.
Thanks Red – There is a sweatshop in Burma churning them out as I write!
It is a hot look.
When “The House Of Ginger” Spring collection is launched this will form the centre piece.
That just makes my day.
I do apologise for an off-topic comment, but is Agnes ever going to change her top and do some laundry? It’s getting a bit odoriferous from all that scurrying down the cheese aisle.
We’ll see!