Dear Aunty Bill,
Recently, shoplifting in my local Oxfam, I came across the debut LP by those seminal rockers The Edgar Winter Group. I hurried home in a state of high dudgeon looking forward to blasting out “Frankenstein” and “Free Ride” and enjoying a few glasses of Sanatogen Tonic wine.
You can imagine my disappointment when on returning home and slipping the LP from its cover out comes a copy of Bernie Winters flop 1972 album “Here’s Bernie!”
Where do I stand in relation to the Sale of Goods Act( 1979) and the Misselling of Goods Act (1979).
Tooth Stained Rocker, Waltham Abbey
Aunty Bill Replies;
Dear Tooth Stained Rocker,
I understand your disappointment (and overlooking your reprehensible actions) it’s not all bad.
Whilst his brother Mike and his dog, Schnorbitz ventured to LA and made a fortune from blancmange (their potato and Bonio surprise was light years ahead of its time), Bernie remained in the UK to endlessly repeat his catch phrases of “I’ll Smash Yer Face In” and ”Choochy Face” .
It was during this period he recorded “Here’s Bernie!” a moribund collection of songs celebrating mediocrity. Here is the theme tune for you to listen to if you dare!
Not easy listening but on closer inspection a metaphor for life. You may enjoy “One size fits all” a melancholic tale of forgetting to turn the gas off before going on holiday.
Who could fail to be moved by the Dylanesque undercurrent of “She was only the Admiral’s daughter but her naval base was always full of sea men”, a tale of unrequited love amongst the press ganged lovers of double entendres.
This could be the best shoplifting mistake you ever made.
Ahoy There Me Hearties!
Aunty Bill
gingerfightback.wordpress.com 
Unrelated, but if you want to spend more time in Barcelona, read “The Shadow of the Wind” by Carlos Ruiz Zafon on the train. If you haven’t already found it, it’s lovely. The subsequent sequels are not the same, but the first book is what I aspire to write. Someday.
Cheers Andra
I have that on my list after an LBJ biog!
Word for word, one of the funniest…
Thanks Ankur
After very careful analyisis, I find that what this is telling us is that Bernie is here. That is, of course, subject to verification and might be disproved by other data. 🙂
You may well be right!
Thank goodness for Aunty Bill. Just think what that poor rocker might have gone and done without her advice.
Yes – he/she is an Angel!
A bit of musical mayhem or mix up can be good for the soul or soul brother. What this rocker should do is mix up all his LP and their album covers. Then he will be constantly surprised by what he uncovers.
Sound advice if you will pardon the pun
Duly noted, 😉
Ah…Reminds me of my younger days roadieing for a young CW McCall on his Convoy tour.
The mustaches from those days were epic!
Rubber Duck n all that!
Bernie Winters, eh? What a legend! The follow-up to “Here’s Bernie!”, “I’m still here, why don’t you ungrateful plebs appreciate my genius?!” was even better.
I hanker after an episode of Whose Baby?