Agnes DuPont tells us more about her previous lives!!!!!! Read other lies here.
To connect with previous lives, Agnes eats cheese. She also claims vegetables from the Brassica family have a similar effect.
PLEASE DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME AS CAULIFLOWER, COOKED OR RAW, IN THE WRONG HANDS CAN BE LETHAL.
Hello People,
Last Wednesday I was working in my local butcher’s, removing veins from lambs liver, when Mahatma Gandhi entered me. Not in that way I hasten to add.
No, Gandhi’s spirit entered my mortal remains. It was great being a bow legged pacifist for a while. Dressed in a sheet too. You might say it was Dandy Ghandi.
Wendy Crabtree walked in, as is her want, to buy a belly of pork for the Sunday roast.
As Mahatma I wasn’t happy about this and organised a campaign of vegetarian mass civil disobedience. I readjusted the thickness on the ham slicer and tossed root vegetables (I always carry a few in case of emergencies) around the place.
As I flung a turnip at a rack of lamb I thought of Morrissey. Strange that.
Sadly I lost my job at the Butcher’s but do have a much greater insight into the last days of Britain’s presence in India. A fair exchange.
You may think I am a fantasist who eats cheese and broccoli long into the night……….I would beg to differ.
Regards,
Agnes
Dear Ginger,
The inner workings of your brain are quite strange.
But, it totally works for you.
😉
Love, Lis
xooxx
Hello Lis – been in Belgium so sorry for the late reply – Cobblers!
I beg to differ with Lis. I understand completely the workings of Agnes’ brain (and why is Lis addressing her comments to Ginger? I think her brain needs a little trim here and there).
So Agnes; keep up the good work (oh, excuse me, you no longer have any work). Well chins up anyway. When you are through with the white robe have it cleaned and I will pick it up someday on the way home from an intervention or group therapy; whichever occurs first.
PS: Did you pick up and save any of those veggies that you threw around? I have a good friend who is a vegan and he would enjoy those immensly.
Cheers Wally – they are in the post – tell your friend to buy some pearl barley and make a hearty winter broth with them. We are here to help and spread veggie love.
I’m not sure how I feel about Agnes. I guess it really depends on how she and the Mahatma feel about Morrissey and the antics performed by His Nibs recently.
Something for us to ponder there. Personally I think he is a little bonkers.
Sorry to hear Agnes lost her job. She’ll be ok though, something’s bound to turnip.
I wish I had thought of that!
🙂
What if she threw the turnip at Oily, which hit his car instead of him?
That would be carnage Frank and end in porno disarray!
Oh the carnage of it all … and a sight wanted to be seen by none.
Agreed – sorry for the late replies I was in Belgium for a couple of days – you will be glad your cruise didn’t take in this delightful country!