I am Barry Belcher. I am a Milkman. I am Psychic. I have been predicting predictions, with various degrees of accuracy for a number of years now. Previous predictions can be read here.
I am up with the Lark, delivering milk, eggs, orange juice, potatoes, bread (wholemeal mostly but the occasional white sliced) and yoghurt. I like yoghurt. Do you?
So, without further ado…….Milk Bottle of Mystery…….what does the future foretell?
1. March 2015 – Agatha Christie will emerge from a Chrysalis which is attached to a large Rubber Plant in a Doctor’s surgery in Swindon to publish 35 more Poirot novels.
2. December 2012 – A man with hairy knees will emerge as a threat to world peace. Possible Frenchie. The signals are weak at the moment.
3. April 2016 – The Queen will choke to death on a Scotch Egg in a Harvester in Billericay, whilst watching the final of Dancing Ice Ninnies. Luckily The Pope will be on hand to offer last rites, which may cause a bit of a problem in the after life.
Will these prove accurate readers? Only time will tell………
Now it is time for messages from “THE OTHER SIDE” –
Mandros, Cyprus,
It’s under the oven.
Hanif in Karachi
Imran wants you to know that New Kids On The Block are better than N’Sync.
Liang Bo in Shanghai
Bo Bing thinks you left the bedroom light on.
Shirley in Chippenham
Sidney wants to let you know that he is fine and doesn’t blame you for leaving the fish bones in.
IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO MAY BENEFIT FROM HEARING THESE MESSAGES PLEASE PASS THEM ON….
Well folks, the Milk Bottle of Mystery is being returned to the Crate of Destiny.
Until next time……….
gingerfightback.wordpress.com 
Milkmen rule! I hope my future is bright…
They do – they are the new Jedi
I wonder how much Harrys predictions are affected by the medium.
For instance, are predictions channeled through Gouda of a different texture than ones from buttermilk?
As always Guap you asked the most important questions – they show us the whey forward.
I just KNEW Agatha was still alive. I KNEW IT. As for the man with the hairy knees, has anyone looked at Cameron’s knees lately? Are they hairy? Because I worry.
Damn hairy! Head for those hills!
If only The Pope knew how to perform the Heimlich maneuver. Is it too late for His Holiness to take a first aid course?
There’s one at my local Pizza hut tomorrow – will try and get Papa on it
So, I told Hanif for you….
Thanks Kate!
This could explainmy reoccurring nightmares of having hairy knees.
We all share that one Frank! (not your knees I hasten to add but knees generally – I think I will stop now).
What’s in my future oh Mystic Milkman? 🙂
I see drug taking in a Denver Broncos shaped Bong Susie whilst you rescue a damsel Ginger blogger in distress from being Hacked! That and a few parties in the forthcoming weeks.
The Queen has purchased a new mobile camper van. This means it is unlikely that she will be seen in a Harvester, unless they stop off on the way to Devon on the A303. BTW this is in fact true, I read about it on the MailOnline and they NEVER lie.
Summer equinox – her and Ken Barlow at Stonehenge dressed as druids, chucking acorns at hippies – I’ve seen it
ANd now maybe with Kate’s new hairdo she can let Billy have the offcuts so he can make a toupee
Jeez if that comes off (the story not the syrup) this will be bigger than the moon landings- “Coronation Coronation Streaks!”
How do we explain that I have more love for your Queen than you do, Mystic Mailman? This is hard for me to take. You see, I hope to age as a cross between Her Majesty and Maggie Smith. Do you see that in the tea leaves?
He doesn’t want to worry you but sees Will Smith as opposed to Maggie.
Good warning! I’ll work a little harder on my beauty routines!