Hello Oily,
Due to a spot of bad luck I have spent the past decade in a wardrobe with only some blouses, slacks and a nice paisley patterned cardigan for company. It was OK mostly except for Xmas when I didn’t get any turkey. I like turkey Oily. Do you?
I recently left the wardrobe for a nice chest of drawers across the room. Have you any tips about how I should furnish my new abode? I am worried that as I have come out of the closet my drawers leave a bit to be desired.
Lonely Stan, Furniture Fan
Oily Replies;
Stan,
It obviously isn’t an IKEA wardrobe is it. Be lucky to get five minutes- or lady love time as I call it – before it would collapse. Much like my lady love time actually. But she is just bitter.
I had a similar experience when I slipped inside a a sofa once. I know some readers will guffaw, some may even raise a Moore like right eyebrow in a quizzical fashion, but when you are as Oily as I, one has the ability to slide into every nook, cranny and crevice.
In my line of business this ‘talent’ is an absolute Godsend.
Whatever shot the Director asks for, whatever ridiculous angle he expects me and my love python to take up, I can always manage to satisfy.
A smart move down the back of the sofa. If mine are anything to go by you will find no end of coins, newspaper, crusts of bread and dried up, turkey breast. Mmmm, tasty.
And also a big pair of white skidmarked Dunnes Stores Y fronts. Just hanging there, flapping in the wind. But a quick wash and your drawer problem is solved!
Just give me a call, I’ll meet you, show you around. £300 a week rent
Cheers One and Oil
gingerfightback.wordpress.com 
George seems to be in a more existential mood today.
I wonder if it has something to do with Moore’s eybrow…
Exactly Guap – the arched eyebrow of Sir Rog is indeed an suitable metaphor for the Oily Schtick.
And now Oily’ a home decor expert. Incredibly talented man.
Many of them hidden thankfully!
Oily sure is proud of his couch pouch. Never a single seater I presume.
Double Decker
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