Ginger Sooty, GLOVE PUPPET OF DREAMS provides a daily round-up of events at the London 2012 Olympics that are, quite simply London 2012.
Well Folks – What A Day!
Nadzeya Ostapchuk won gold in the Women’s shot putt. Her hairstyle reminded me of Gordon Strachan circa 1988.
Australian Tom Slingsby won a gold in the Laser class sailing. They will soon catch up with New Zealand! (Not that we are gloating after decades of drubbings from them – oh yes we are!)
These two seem to be enjoying themselves in the Greco-Roman wrestling!
A couple of sports to look out for.
1. Cistercian Dispersion – Dates back to 645 AD, when monks on Holy Island, busy being ascetic and wondering what to do about the sweat rash from their woollen robes are captured by Vikings.
One Norseman has the bright idea of seeing how far he can fling their separated heads. The best monk chucker was then entered into the Dark Ages favourite quiz show Supermarket Pillage.
The sport has received something of a revival in the last ten years. Although they don’t throw monks heads anymore! Instead a medicine ball with a wig glued onto it. But don’t worry the wig has a bald spot for a bit of authenticity.
Norway’s Jan-Dahl Tossderhead is favourite for gold although expect a challenge from the mighty Algerian Youssouf Al-Syrup.
2. Sausage Pocket
Marjorie Masticationio from Sicily can catch in the pocket of her slacks a flung sausage from a distance of 47 Metres!
A sport for all the family this one and with a tasty meaty snack never far away!
Marjorie hopes to land gold. She has already medalled in the Synchronised Bacon Waving with her partner Gina Pollo.
Team GB’s Penny Whistle will be her main rival although her use of a chipolata is sure to be a bone of contention.
Enjoy The Games!
Sooty
The Masticationio family is close with my Sicilian family, both are from the town. Sausage Pocket is a huge sport there. Huge. Everyone I know is good at it. I’m so happy they are finally letting some of the extreme sports into the Olympics!
The Olympics brings the world together!
La La, did any of your relatives teach you the sport? I begged my Uncle Nick to show me how to catch sausage but he said I was too young. I was 32 at the time.
There’s an underground ring where I learned from my cousin Anthony, I will take you next time. You’ll love it!
I could not wave bacon without eating it……..
Try it Andra – I dare you!
Surely one would think that the BBC would have picked up Sooty’s reports by now.
Sadly not – but then it is all a bit ne eyed over here at the moment. If you ever get the chance to watch Handball fo, I was a
t a game last night and it was brilliant!
I’m glad to see cistercian dispersion back as a Olympic sport. Sometimes the old ways really are best.
It’s a great habit to have!
The Sooty brand police are almost certainly onto you. Please be Soo careful…
It’ll be a clean Sweep.
It will be ‘Bye-bye everybody! Bye-bye!’, as you all get sent down!
Oh Yes!
IMHO Marjorie should forget about the Bacon Waving and concentrate on the Pocket event……after all she comes from a long line of Masticationio Sausage Pocketers.
I’ll pass oln your advice.
If you used a Cumberland you could combine it with discus.
It’s been tested in the wind tunnel as I write!
That darn sweat rash really slows me down. 🙂
I suffer too Susie!
Hahaha!
Sooty, beside your coverage that of the BBC looks a trifle lacklustre. Thank you for your daily updates…
“What’s that Sooty?” – Oh right – Thanks Kate!