Hello Folks,
We’ve retained the services of Ginger Sooty, GLOVE PUPPET OF DREAMS, to provide a daily round-up of events at the London 2012 Olympics that are, quite simply London 2012. Here is his update for Day 1 of events.
Hello everyone, Ginger Sooty here.
Still in shock over McCartney’s plasticine features!!
Well what a day yesterday – Phelps lost to Lochte (Puffing on a bong doing the Butterfly can’t have helped) whilst some DAMN FOREIGNERS didn’t understand that our BRAVE, NOBLE, PLUCKY LADS should have won the cycling gold the moment they tucked their trouser legs into their socks and set of for a pootle around Surrey.
Anyway there are a couple of sports I think you should look out for today.
1. In-Line Irony – Although Australian, Miscellany At-Large is the red hot favourite for today’s contest, keep an eye out for Team GB!
The banks of empty corporate seats at yesterday’s events, chimes perfectly with the intention of making this “The People’s Games” and how they will “Inspire Future Generations”.
Now that is ironic!
2. Beach Scratch n Sniff – The men’s heavyweight category may prove to be one of the highlights of the Games. The morbidly obese Italian, Giorgio Streppto-cocci is defending his title. He is quoted as saying – “I have doubled my weight in six months, not washed my privates or changed my underwear in that time and have been doing a lot of gym work.”
When Giorgio delves into his Budgie Smugglers on Horseguard’s Parade at 3 pm this afternoon, the contents of his crutch may trigger fears of a chemical attack on London. Pack a gas mask. Just to be on the safe side.
Enjoy The Games! Sooty.
I hear Giorgio’s former girlfriend (from just before training for this games and his inspiration to gain even more in an attempt to get her back) was a ginger. I heard she had to be extricated by fire department the last time they ate together, as he mistook her passing him a plate of bikkies as trying to snitch a bite. Nasty business that.
Red.
Oh Dear!
I’m still having a bit of trouble with Paul’s face, too, Sooty. And Phelps…well, yes! I’m having a little trouble following the events over here in the U.S. since by the time I sit down to watch an event I’ve already heard how it turns out. We did just watch the first basketball game aired live…there’s nothing like a basketball game at 6:30 in the morning with a cup of coffee! 🙂 Debra
Thanks Debra! I know what you mean – but somehow these odd hours make it all the more exciting and “Olympic”!
Glove Puppet of Dreams i Indeed! I am already confused about the time thing so I appreciate dreamy guy giving us the highlights.. and the stink ewww
is that common to be such an offending .. presence? the weight lifter not the puppet..
That would be my guess Lizzie – i am a great believer in a washed under carriage.
Yes, the opening ceremonies have finally brought me to the painful conclusion that Paul McCartney has not remained forever young. My teenage fangirl self weeps.
Agreed – not a great fan but he just looks weird now.
That was Paul McCartney??? I thought it looked familiar.
I’m glad Phelps didn’t win anything because he’s an arrogant jerk (I’m being polite here).
And just the description of Giorgio is making my stomach turn. Nice one.
Good! glad you liked it!
Sorry I missed Paul Ginger.. I fell asleep before the end!.. Love Sooty update 🙂 and Rebecca got the Bronze 😀
PS, I have claim to Fame.. I swam in her training Pool in Mansfield and taught my own children to swim there.. LOL.. just a bit of useless information to add to Sootys Olympic report..
Name dropper! i saw John Noakes smoke a cigarette once!
Lol 🙂 Hahaha!,,,, Blue Peter Fan I see Lol 🙂
Mike Oldfield’s smile was slightly disturbing. Not sure why.
Was watching the air pistol shooting today. They should have kept it authentically British and had the competitors shoot stray cats in a back ally in Salford.
That would have guaranteed a gold!
No 2 – a possible reason for all those empty seats?
Good point – not a great spectator sport!
Dear Sooty,
It was horrifyingly cruel of them to make Muhammed Ali stand and try to get him to wave. If he didn’t understand how to wave he obviously didn’t understand where he was and why he was there.
Love Dotty xxx
Agreed Dotty – bit bizarre that one – Sweep was available too!
I’m assuming no ginger winners on Day 1.
Not to my knowledge Frank!