Hello,
I am Barry Belcher. I am a Milkman. I am Psychic. I have been predicting predictions, with various degrees of accuracy for a number of years now.
Before my Psychic self was revealed to me, I was happy going about my everyday business. Up with the Lark, delivering milk in my hometown of Devizes. I also deliver eggs, orange juice, potatoes, bread (wholemeal mostly but the occasional white sliced) and yoghurt.
Almost all of my customers buy low fat milk with only a handful still pouring full fat over their Cornflakes in the morning!
I have foretold the future through my Milk Bottle of Mystery for several years now.
Recently I predicted the following predictions; Christmas Day in 1987 would fall on Christmas Day, Police Academy 6 would be made and the 1968 Mexico Olympics would occur in Mexico in 1968.
I met Mr Fightback outside Devizes Assizes last week. He was pinching a sack of King Edwards from my Float, stuffing the tubas down his trousers as I approached. I told him I would not press charges if he would give me a chance to share my predictions and messages from “the other side” (and I don’t mean Swindon!)
My Psychic powers foretold me that he would agree.
So, without further ado…….Milk Bottle of Mystery…….what does the future foretell for 2012?
1. WMD to be discovered in Iraq
2. Man to walk on the Moon for the first time
3. Princess Diana to marry her long term Beau, Dodi Al-Fayed
4. Queen Victoria to celebrate 187 years as Monarch.
5. A tuna fish to win the men’s 100 metre final at the Olympics
Will these prove accurate readers? Only time will tell………
Now it is time for messages from “THE OTHER SIDE” –
Elsie in Grimsby,
“Patricia says that Granddad’s top set is in the wardrobe.”
Yannick in Saratoga
“Maureen thought you knew she had a nut allergy.”
Jason in Sydney
“Nicola says the fruit bowl is under the sofa. The oranges have gone a bit mouldy.”
Connie in Cape Town
“Daryl wants you to know he loved the cardigan really.”
Yvette in Toronto
“Dad says he won’t use the Chainsaw again.”
IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO MAY BENEFIT FROM HEARING THESE MESSAGES PLEASE PASS THEM ON….
Well folks, the Milk Bottle of Mystery is being returned to the Crate of Destiny.
Until next time…..why not order an extra pint or two and gladden the heart of your local Milko!
A psychic milkman? Is there no end to your creative characters? You have outdone your self with this one. Clever boy!
I believe we don’t have milkmen anymore here in Canada (or the US). So I predict that Barry will soon be a full time psychic. 😉
Too true Michelle, sadly his crates barely clink these days……..
Spooky milkman! I once encountered one of these cruising about a deserted street at about 4am… that distinctive electric milk float whirring….
He’ll get yer clinkin’ with excitement Holly!
How Ernie the fastest milkman in the west?
Mystic Milko’s alter ego!
Dear ginger,
When you next see Mr Belcher will you please ask him if he’ll help me to communicate with my dead husband, ex-Simon? And if I buy a couple of bottles of gold top from him, will he do me a milk bottle top reading too?
Thank you.
Love Dotty xxx
Fear not Dotty it is on the list of things to do
My money’s on the tuna fish. Now I really want tickets.
Close FINish! Ho Ho
I can’t wait for The Milkman TV show…..nothing more rivetting than a psychic on television….ho hum…..
Agreed….but then you knew i would……
Belching predictions. 🙂
Leaves a nasty taste in the mouth Andra!
Please tell me he’s changed the milk in the bottle of mystery since he first began predicting.
And is it him, or just the bottle that does it?
It’s the same one – he hasn’t lost his whey. It is the bottle drawing up the udders of the ancients.
Do they actually sell Milk in bottles anywhere anymore? And I’m with El Guapo, I hope that Bary occasionally changes the milk bottle of destiny, or t least remembers to put it back in the fridge. Love this character, thanks Ginger
Still in good old Blighty mon Capitane – the 4 am clink can still be heard!