Pop guru, inventor of sunshine and keen exponent of Esperanto, Simon Cowell will shortly be launching a new Boy Band in the wake of the monumental success of One Direction.
Thank You Simon – For Everything!
No Direction, as the band are to be called, are currently STILL in the rehearsal studios two years after forming.
The band were put together by Cowell from a variety of misfits, rejects, misanthropes and clueless posh boys who auditioned on,”Laugh At Nutters On Primetime TV”.
The five members were forced into Coalition to further their inane drive for personal gratification and self aggrandisement.
No Direction From L 2 R – Barney Clegg, Richie Osborne, Barry Cameron, Harry Hunt and Glenn Alexander
No Direction’s lead singer Barry “Twat” Cameron, told Gfb’s showbiz editor, Holly Tetanus-Jab, “I am confident in five years time we will be bigger than The Wanted. More butter on my next slice of toast Clegg. I want to invade somewhere!”
Already the band’s first tour has SOLD OUT! That’s right, they have sold out the young, students, pensioners, disabled, unemployed and the sick. Quite an achievement.
Their first single “We’re All In This Together (As If You Suckers!) has been released with the specific aim of clinging on to the Number 10 spot for three more years.
Too funny! I love their hair-dos! They seem to be lovin’ the hair gel!
They have a lot of hair issues Susie!
That look is truly Cowell’s true calling. I trust him suddenly
He hangs out in Boston a lot – his demographic apparently.
Glad to see you landed Holly Tetanus-Jab as your showbiz editor – she should give your site a real shot in the arm!
Brilliant! Thanks.
Wait – was Cowell producing, or a contestant on Laughing At Nutters On TV?
Both – he is so talented!
With hair like that, they have no hope.
Agreed! Apparently their inspiration is New Kids On The Block with a little bit of Vanilla Ice thrown in for good measure.
Is it creepy that I like Simon as a ginger? He usually makes my skin crawl.
Michelle, don’t worry Simon Cowell as a ginger is a real sexpot.